Thursday, November 20, 2008

Santa Claus is coming to a mall near you... and me

this post is brought to you by the makers of
santa carolina, chilean, sauvignon blanc.













'bout CA$9.95 a bottle.
a cheap, but cheerful, and cheeky little wine, if you ask me.
but then, if i knew what i was talking about when it comes to wine, i'd probably not be drinking cheap plonk.
however, every hard working woman is entitled to a glass of red wine to er, unwind, non?

anyway, my point was.
is.
i was going to blog about work.
yes, that's it.
work.

today we were visited by 3 very different people.
this morning two very handsome men came to our site, dragging large briefcases and important looking laptops alongside as they proceeded to examine every inch of our location.
they had badges and photo ID.
they had clipboards too.
so i KNEW they were important.
"we're health and safety." they said.
"and we are here to inspect you."

well not ME strictly speaking, but our site.
damn!
well it seems we have unknowingly violated several bylaws or some such because we don't have a health and safety rep on site, no fire extinguisher (we have a sprinkler system--HA! doesn't count), and we don't use alcohol based hand sanitizer. oh and our bookshelf is not fixed to a wall.
i don't' think we are going to jail exactly but we need to elect a rep to enforce these rules.
trouble is there's only two of us.
and we are having trouble with the election.
what if she votes for herself?
or if we both vote for her?
or if we both vote for me?
and neither of us wants to be 'the rep'.
it could get nasty.
i hate being a public official.
and then this afternoon.
there was a lull in our classroom.
we were learning about elapsed time.
it was quite boring to be honest.
i sometimes don't know how to spice up that lesson.
time is just time when it comes down to it.
you either care.
or you don't.
and sometimes, between the two of us, i feel, they DON"T.

anyhoo, at one point there was a silence.
we looked up.
we all heard it and we all looked at each other.
'there's someone on the roof'. we all said.


and then this guy walked by.



ah yes, Christmas in the mall.
everybody freaked out.
like they all believed in him or something.
complete chaos.
so i took his picture.
he was quite real.







and now there is a train.
it goes around the mall.
all day.
you can ride in it if you want.
when it passes our balcony the driver pulls a lever and the train say,
WHOO WHOOO
and then O Holy Night comes on over the loudspeakers again.
I think this version is by the Chipmunks.

13 comments:

wor vron said...

glad to see you're still decanting the chilean!! would have appreciated a photo of the 2 handsome chaps from health and safety! Xmas -bah humbug -have just started my Xmas shopping -online - to avoid those tunes!!!!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Good luck on that election. I would vote for the other, knowing you don't want the job. I love that kind of wine, not from Chile, but from New Zealand....very sweet, yummy.
A lesson on Elapsed time? Where do you come up with this stuff? I thought my brain went every which way.....wooo...
Santa scares me. Especially when he is roaming around BEFORE thanksgiving and he should be home directing the elves in toy making! geeze.

C said...

we have a radio station here that started playing christmas tunes 2 weeks ago, 24/7. it GAGS me. i cant even feel christmassy until after thanksgiving. let us enjoy turkey day first, before they barage us with the pressures of christmas shopping etc...
next thing we know, they'll be playing christmas music in july just to remind people the holidays will be upon us in 5 short months...
so you live in ontario, clippy? i grew up in upstate NY in a small town called Malone. used to drive across the border to cornwall for chinese food. one time my friends and i didnt have enough money to pay the toll to get back to NY so we spent 2 hours combing the roadsides for empty soda bottles to cash in for the toll!!!!!!

Crazy Mo said...

Too bad Santa wasn't passing out bottles of wine!

Gina said...

hehe :)sounds like a fun mall! i'd love to visit canada, my boyfriend is from rochester,NY so maybe on a visit we can take a day trip up!

Mrs. G. said...

If I had the Chipmunks blaring during my work day, I believe I would have a couple of bottles of that wine stashed in my desk drawer.

Leslie said...

thank you.

Sheila said...

Oooohhh--Alvin and the Chipmunks sing carols. That's just scary.

It's enough to make you into a Scrooge by Christmas!

I hate grocery shopping on November 10 and hearing Jingle Bells. Why can't they wait?

Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!

Expat mum said...

They'll be coming to take you away by December 10th!

Anonymous said...

haha i like it
love the christmas bit
there is a health and safety man at my work, everyone finds him a tad much but i think he;s great. little, round and italian haha. just funny!
xxx jenn

C said...

happy thanksgiving, clippy. and to all of your family....that is, IF you in fact DO celebrate that holiday in Canada.....

C

Clippy Mat said...

C
We celebrated thanksgiving in Canada last month.
We like to space out the months between turkey eatin' up here.
enjoy yours.

Dave Morris said...

Enough of that wine and you'll forget about Christmas altogether. We're having a Christmas party at our house a week from Friday and I have no idea when I'll get around to putting up the decorations. Perhaps I will just drink more wine.

I find that, with wine, 'good' and 'expensive' don't necessarily go hand in hand. That looks like a perfectly bitchin' choice.