Thursday, November 4, 2010

barefaced, me?

this morning there was almost a disaster of epic proportions.
the shock waves could well have been felt far and wide.
thankfully, calamity was averted at the last minute.
praise the lord!

luckily for me i spotted the potential catastrophe and was able to prevent it just in the nick of time.

what happened was i was getting ready for work and making my usual preparations.
things were going according to plan.
showered, dressed, hair did.
lunch. packed.
coffee. made.
keys. check.
bag. check.
work keys. check.
work shoes. check.
out the door, a quick glance in the mirror before i go.

"what the?"

aaarrrrgggghhh.

WHO THE HELL IS THAT?

i had to look twice.

this older woman was looking back at me and she didn't look too happy!

no bloody face on.
completely forgotten to do me make-up hadn't i?

as i dropped all of the stuff i had just picked up and trudged back to the make up mirror i may have toyed with the idea of NOT putting any make up on.
for about, oh all of 1/2 a second.

i can only imagine the strange looks i'd have encountered when i turned up to my workplace looking like...
like what?
i don't even know.

the thing is in all my adult life i have never gone anywhere in public (on purpose) without makeup.
that's just sad.
i could maybe have got away with it before.


when i still looked like this sweet little innocent child.

but not now.
let's just say they don't call it foundation for nothing.
they call it that because it's there to shore you up, keep you all together.
lipstick?
it's to stick your lips on.
they'd fall off without it.
and i'm not even kidding.
eye liner?
well there'd be just two holes in the top of your head.
mascara?
two receding holes in the top of your head.

i couldn't even begin to entertain the idea of going to work au naturel.
which i know is pretty sad.
and makes me seem pretty shallow.
but that's just the way i am now.
shallow! to the core!
and it's probably too late to change.

i mean look at these poor saps.



Edie Falco, looking like death warmed up. 

 Edie Falco looking a bit like Phyllis Diller but at least she's got her face on.

















what i'm saying is i'd rather look like marilyn manson in full slap than edie in bare face.

and believe me, you might just be grateful for that too.


;-)



15 comments:

Mark said...

esweMy wife always insists on her make up before going outside. I am resigned to waiting; thankfully she doesn't take too long.

Often we arrive somewhere by car and she insists on putting her make up on before getting out - but we're only going to the supermnarket I say. Makes no difference; I still have to wait.

Clippy Mat said...

Mark: Not wearing make up to the supermarket is a big no no. That's where you bump into the world and his wife. Ooh that would just be bad.
;-)

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh gosh, I wish you could have heard the loud belly laugh you just gave me.
You are a doll...no matter what you slap on your face.

I DO feel the same way...it is such a habit to put on my face. Yesterday I was THIS close to going barefaced, but then I knew that would be the day I ended up on national tv.
And guess what? No national tv yesterday...maybe today.

Clippy Mat said...

Suz: That is so TRUE! The day that we go out barefaced will be the day that TV cameras stop us in the street to ask for our opinion on an important issue. Who's willing to take that risk? Not you. Thank goodness, and not me either.
:-)

Steve said...

Having never worn make-up or been out with girls who went overboard on it this is a curious conundrum. I always imagined that putting on make-up had an almost theatrical effect; like it enabled the wearer to assume a role or play a part.

Expat mum said...

I almost go nude but I HAVE to apply the cover up under my eyes. Oh and round the bottom of my nose, and anywhere else where dark shadows lurk. Might as well put the whole slap on really.

Clippy Mat said...

Steve: exactly! without it I am a pale imitation of my vibrant self. With it, I'm well more 'human'.
;-)

Toni: Nude? I said barefaced not bare arsed LOL.
That could be a whole different make up palette requiring more than just cover up...
;-)

Pam said...

Brilliant post Clippy, you had me laughing as usual. I don't wear too much but always have to use mascara, even when I'm gardening!

ChiTown Girl said...

Ok, my beautiful friend, I can not relate, in any way, shape or form, to this post. I don't wear a stitch of makeup. EVER! It makes my mother and sister crazy. I wish I knew how many hours of time I've saved over the past ## years by not having to 'put on my face.' I'd like to rub it in their painted faces! ;-)

Clippy Mat said...

Cheech: That's because you are a natural beauty and you don't need it. Plus, if you've never started then you don't have to keep up the pretense. I wish I could say the same. I resent the time and effort I've put into it too, but God I can't stop now.
:-)

Clippy Mat said...

Pam: that's why I don't garden. The effort would induce sweat which would make me eyes run!
:-)

Evil Twin's Wife said...

People think it's funny when I say, "I have to put my face on." Laugh all they want, I'm still not leaving the house without a shower, hair done and make up!

Clippy Mat said...

ETW: That's exactly what it is, 'putting a face on'. Just enhancing what we have right?
;-)

the fly in the web said...

I just wonder if my passport photo would have been better if I had used make up?
As it is I look more like Grendel's mother than usual and immigration officials do a double take.

Clippy Mat said...

Fly: I think even supermodels look like Grendel's mother in their passport photos. I've made an extra special effort for them and for license pics.... to no avail.
;-)