Monday, November 15, 2010

Just another day in Crazy Town

okay i realize that wordless weekends was a bit of a ploy.
me posting stuff just to say i had posted and you being all nice and coming over and commenting just to be supportive.
not that i'm not grateful.
i am.
very.
obviously i am scraping the barrel because there's no way on god's earth that i can come up with something interesting for every day in november.
hey, if i could make even one or two days in november interesting then i'd feel chuffed.
i'm not even sure now why i thought this was a good idea.
i think i thought it would be a challenge.
i like a good challenge.
but a challenge has to have a point.
and i can't remember what mine was now.
but
i'm not backing out.
yet.

i'll just tell you one or two things that you might find remotely interesting.
and then i'll go.

i met a fella today who would like to enrol and do some upgrading through our program.
he did the required assessment and completed all of the paperwork.
we talked about his goals.
what we could help him with.
we discussed the fact that he's recently been diagnosed with epilepsy.
he said it had taken years to get to that diagnosis.
years of unusual behaviour before 'they' finally pinpointed that he was having seizures.
i sympathised when he said he'd urinated publicly.
i said it must be difficult to have a seizure and then come around to find that you've accidentally wet your pants.
he said, oh no, not peed my pants.  i sort of take it out (he gestured someone unleashing what appeared to be a very large penis) and i pee.
he gestured someone peeing against an imaginary wall with said oversized instrument.
oh, says i.
and, he went on, i also did b and e's.
b and e's?
yeah, break and enters.
pardon?
yeah, i'd break and enter but i didn't know i was doing it because i was having a seizure.
? er really?
yeah.
and sometimes i've been know to pull the fixtures and fittings off a wall; sinks, toilets and that. but i never knew i'd done it 'cos i was having a seizure.

i was slightly perplexed but didn't break my composure.
we finished our conversation.
he left and i said i'd call when we have an opening in the class he needs.

then i mentally marked his paperwork with my imaginary massive rubber stamp.
Access Denied.

and how was YOUR day?

Image from Google


15 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

What the hell?! That's one of the more interesting stories I've heard lately.

Oh, and no one told me that the NaBloPoMo posts were supposed to be INTERESTING!! Crap, I've been doing it all wrong!

karen gerstenberger said...

Nothing dull about YOUR day, Clippy! I've never heard such a variety of things called "seizures" before. I suppose you could say he "seized" the things he pulled off the wall, but that's not the use of the word "seizure" that I assumed he meant. God bless him, he does need help.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Wow. Access denied FOR SURE.
Nothing boring about your posts clippy...this I know for sure.
Laughing at Karen's comment!
I had a seizure one weekend and drank too much, made too many phone calls, ate all kinds of crap and then did not pay for any of it.

I too am wondering why I signed up for this. i am exhausted. :) But the bigger issue is, I have not run out of crap to talk about. How about those apples...I can't wait till December.

Clippy Mat said...

Cheech: It's just another day at work for me. Nothing fazes me at that place anymore. :-)

Karen: I think seizures might be the wrong diagnosis here, wouldn't you say? :-)

Suz: I hear you. Roll on December.
;-)

Pam said...

Ha ha ha. Was he a scouser or what? Mr "Seizure Belongings".

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

Just as well he didn't get his tackle out to illustrate what he meant!

Steve said...

I'd like to pull that excuse with my boss at work. Sorry boss, when I shat on your desk I was having a seizure... yeah. He'd buy that.

C said...

you are doing GREAT posting every day and they are all interesting AND amuzing...

that guy is a nut..

a screwball.

and i'm not talkin just pecans, clippy- he's a full walnut.

Clippy Mat said...

Pam: Def. not a scouser. LOL

Trish: Well he did in a sense get the tackle out, I could just picture it from his demo. ;-)

Steve: Hey it works for some people. Try it! (then let me know what happens.) ;-)

Chris: Hmm, your diagnosis seems to concur with mine! Perhaps I'm more of a psychiatrist than I first thought. ;-)

Mark said...

Maybe you need a prompt I thought - and then you tell that great story.

But if you do want a prompt, tell us something about your memories of England

Clippy Mat said...

Mark: I might do that. Thanks for the prompt.;-)

the fly in the web said...

So now after all these years I understand how the people renting the holiday cottage managed to pull the entire shower fitting from the wall...they were having a collective seizure and of course did not leave any explanation as they must have been having a seizure as they drove away very early in the morning.

I wish I'd access denied them....

Clippy Mat said...

FLY:
Life Explained. Bad Stuff = Seizures. If only we'd known about it we could've gotten away with murder ;-)

karen gerstenberger said...

I think you need a "seize and desist" order for that guy.

Anonymous said...

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
'b and e's' lol love it
omgggg be careful!!!!!!!!!!
jenn xxx