Sunday, November 22, 2009

the remains of the day

the weather in this part of ontario is exceptionally mild and quite warm for the time of year so mr clippy and i have been making the most of it and have been enjoying some nice walks in the woods.
today we took our lovely dog bella with us.

you may notice from the photos that we are walking apart and would seem to be not quite in step with each other.
out of synch even.
there is a reason.
en route to the woods mr clippy was driving and i was as ever, the co-pilot, the extra eyes and ears.
a valued and trusted role and one that should never be taken lightly.

we waited at the intersection, about to turn right.
he was looking to the left for oncoming traffic.
there was a break in the traffic and he began the turn but, unfortunately, he was a tad hasty and hadn't checked to his right again.
therefore he didn't see the cyclist who had come up suddenly trying to beat the DO NOT WALK sign and was going like the wind in front of our car.
inches in front of our car.
i may have screamed.
i was a little shook up.
the cyclist and i made eye contact for one brief moment before he sped away and there was fear and loathing in his eye and no doubt panic and fright in mine.

mr clippy hit the brakes, HARD, and said a few very bad words.
then he said a few more very bad words.
being sunday i thought they were in particularly bad taste.
he proceeded to blame the cyclist for almost killing US!
whereupon i of course informed HIM that HE was in fact to blame.
and i was incensed enough to employ the phrase, '100% to blame."
this was not well received.
in fact had i just stabbed him in the back with a large pitchfork, he said, he could not have been more hurt.
that i never took his part and that in my eyes he was always wrong in these situations.
it was always HIS fault.
who's the one in the driving seat?
trying to kill me, throw the dog through the windshield and run down unsuspecting (dumb) cyclists on a lovely sunday afternoon!
not me.

in mr clippy's world the cyclist was and evermore shall be in the wrong because he tried to beat the light!
i could not agree less.
the first rule of driving i patiently (it seems to annoy him when i'm patient) informed my other half is to 'first do no harm'.

the discussion continued and became, sadly, somewhat heated.
we 'debated' the issue quite noisily for the whole of the journey to the woods and for a good way around the path.
until the dog began to look sideways at us and made a little whimpering noise.
 i of course could not be swayed.
when you're right, you're right.


after i while i refused to argue discuss the matter any further.
i maintained my self-righteous stance that had i not been in the car and warned him, he'd have hit the cyclist and in a court of law he would lose.
and probably get sent down.
for quite a while.
years even.
locked up.
and the key thrown away.
and i would never visit him.
the family would disown him.
he'd rot.

i may have gone too far.

after a while of walking one behind the other, each deep in our own thoughts, with only the crunch of the leaves to break the silence between us and with nervous glances of the dog from me to him, mr clippy mumbled aloud something about being glad that i couldn't be on a jury if he was ever on trial.

i'll take that as his apology


C said...

i know its not supposed to be comical, but it is! bwahahahaha...

lovely pictures too, btw..


Granny on the Web said...

I have his brother 'I am never in the wrong, so there'
there is a hole in my side of the car where I slam my foot down into the footwell!
Looks a lovely walk anyway...
Love Granny

Busy Bee Suz said...

I think the two of you should not be allowed to leave the house together.
Can I have the dog in the custody battle?
Hugs to you my friend!!!

ChiTown Girl said...

This was exactly the kind of light humor I needed to start my day. Thanks! And, I apologize for being amused by your marital woes. ;-)

Snooty Primadona said...

Yup. It certainly made me laugh. It's also the reason I do ALL of the driving when we go anywhere. I'm a much better pilot than a co-pilot. As co-pilot, I'm kind of a *daisy picker* as it were. And, hubby has his imaginary brake over there on the passenger side, so he's happy. ;-)

Clippy Mat said...

C: i know. i don't know why HE wasnt' laughing. :-)
Granny: separated at birth, or just like a lot of male drivers??
Suz: this is true. the dog will vouch for it. she might want to visit. i think she's packing as we speak. :-)
chi-chi: no apology necessary i see the funny side too. (but don't tell him.)
snoots: luckily i don't do any of the driving when we are together because we would have a LOT more of these sort of discussions, and to be fair, i would probably have HIT the cyclist.

Steve said...

Remind me (should I ever need it) to never, never, never mess with you (and to cycle carefully when you're husband it out driving)!

Expat mum said...

Come on - you know that wasn't really an apology!

Gypsy said...

My husband always goes sheet white when I am driving along with his knuckles. Now you would think I was the bad driver and he the safe one. Not so. He has had numerous car accidents over the years whilst I have had none. So I ask you why the fear? Let me enlighten you. Everyone else was at fault in those aforementioned car accidents, not his Nibbs. It's a fact and God forbid those of us who dare to dispute it.

Gill - That British Woman said...

I have a husband like that!!!!

By the way HOW DID you get the line strike through the words? Its one of those things I want to know!!


Clippy Mat said...

steve: consider yourself reminded. i'm a sweet soul really.
(most of the time anyway.)

epmum: you know we have to take them where we can get them and that's about as good as it was going to get.

gypsy: no wunner your husband is sheet white if you're driving along wi' his knuckles, OUCH!

see. it's definitely a male thing.
strikethough should be in your compose mode when you are writing a post? you highlight the word click on the strikethough icon and then click off when you are done.
hope this works.

Gill - That British Woman said...

thanks Pat, I did it, by updating my post editor.


Pam said...

Moody walks are just the worst aren't they.
We once went twice around Devils Tower (the humongous hill in Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind) without a word to one another. Can't remember why now! X

Clippy Mat said...

Gill: that's great. I'm quite impressed that I knew what to do.
feeling smug.

Pam: moody walks is right. that just about sums us up yesterday. luckily it's all water under the bridge now.
i think.

clinka said...

you were 100% RIGHT!


Clippy Mat said...

clinka: i rest my case.

Sara said...

Ahhh I sympathise with the dog. Your sister and my dad used to have many an argument like this which tended to end in silent walks around Bolam Lake or somewhere similar.
Being the diplomat that I am - you are both right. I agree with what you are saying completely however, having been nearly ran over by bikes myself they annoy me and often dismiss the rules of the road so the bike should have slowed down when he saw Uncle Clippy and realised s/he was not going to win. People on bikes think they are invincible!

So glad noone got hurt though and that everyone is friends now.

haha my verification word below is porker! Think they're trying to tell me something??

TechnoBabe said...

No No, tell Busy Bee that I get to take the dog in the custody battle. I think we all have had similar instances. The last one I was the passenger and hubby was driving down a row of cars in a parking lot, got to the end and instead of waiting for a car driving down that row toward us he pulled out in front of that car, not exactly inches in front of the car but really, and that driver had to apply brakes and give a horrid look to hubby and hubby thought he (hubby) was in the right. Unlike you,I did not speak up. The lips zipped. The head looked the other way. Whew. Avoided what could have been a flare-up. My poor little heart can't take too many big flare-ups any more. I want peace and tranquility especially when tucked nicely into the little car. Loved reading your story though and really like the way you share actual happenings. Hey, life isn't always lovey dovey huh.

Clippy Mat said...

dear porker: LOL
you are a diplomat indeed. perhaps that's been ingrained in your after growing up with an argumentative woman like my sister. (she'll never read this comment.)

technobabe: hi! i also want peace and tranquility but alas when other half is driving we rarely get to the end of the street without some kind of altercation involving somebody else who is at fault! i wish i was like you and could my mouth shut! i will try harder.

Kee said...

Like father like son b/c ALMPOST EVERY trip in the car with you know who results in the same sort of "discussions", I heard this tale first hand from Mr. Clippy before reading this so I have heard his side as well and I hesitate to say this but it sounds like it was an easy mistake that any of us could have made...but I know how you feel! Uh oh, not sure if you will be speaking to me now after above comment! xxx

Clippy Mat said...

Kee: you are the soul of discretion and diplomacy. I'll let you off. :-)

ModernMom said...

Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree! At least that is what we have decided :)

PS My hubs is golfing today. In November! In Ontario! Woo Hoo!

Clippy Mat said...

Modern Mom: Hi! well as they say, men are from mars, and women are perfect. i think it's something like that. i know. golfing in november. it's fantastic. i see them out there when i'm drivng to work. hope it lasts and lasts.

Gill - That British Woman said...

Pat, if you want more info on SDM just ask......


alison said...

Telling men that their driving is less than stellar is like telling dogs that they smell when they're wet -- they don't understand what you're saying, and they don't much appreciate it.

Lovely place to go for a walk, hope you and the dog had fun.

Clippy Mat said...

ooh just in case anybody is reading follow up comments (which i'm sure you have better things to do.) i should explain that Gill's comment refers to me wanting info on saving money at SHOPPERS DRUG MART (SDM) and does not refer to me wanting more info on SaDoMasochism.

Alison: Hi! I think, alas, that you hit the nail on the head.
but yes, the dog and I had a nice walk :-)

J. Hi said...

Bella was probably saying "Are you and Daddy getting divorced?" ;)

You are right, of course. Why do men even try to argue with us?

Donn said...

Damn those evolutionary genes.
As a male I find it quite acceptable to try to stun fast moving objects in case they are edible.

I'm over 50 so I have had the road to Damascus experience of realizing that men cannot multitask...nope nope nope...
and unfortunately operating heavy equipment even without ingesting cold medication and alcohol requires a certain degree of multitasking...D'OH!

He'll come around when that fragile Y-chrome ego responds to far more important urges slithering from the ole reptilian cortex...poor bastard doesn't stand a chance.

Wor Vron said...

argumentative sister moi? I'm on Mr Clippy's side when it comes to juries!!
Sara -you must be scarred for life, experiencing such silent walks with your parents.
Loving your Blogs Sis......when I get around to reading it! xx