Saturday, March 27, 2010

just another day in paradise

ah saturday morning.
i'm just waiting for the bucket of hot water and bleach to do its stuff in the downstairs bog.
there's a bit of a blockage and i have a plunger on standby.

i'm sure YOU are lying on a table in a candle-lit room, in an exclusive spa somewhere, nibbling on peeled grapes, listening to gently filtered classical music as DOLF kneads your knotty bits.

if so, then please, dear reader, do not linger any longer over that mental image i just opened with.

i, clippy mat, will handle the nastiness of reality while you relax.

don't mention it.

and while i'm waiting for the chemical reaction to occur before i go in with plunger in both hands, i shall share some loveliness with you.
i like me some awards.
and i like them even better when somebody gives one to ME!

so here are two that even sandra bullock, to the best of my knowledge, never got.

and the nicest thing about them is that tomorrow, as i bask with self-satisfied smugness in such good fortune, i won't learn via some seedy tabloid that my other half was hanging out with a tattooed whore while i was otherwise 'busy'.

this one was given to me by
my bloggy buddy, Fly in the Web
a lovely lady who lives in France.
a sunshine award.
how fitting today mes amis.
apropos n'est-ce pas?
in order to accept this award,  i have to fulfill some obligations, which escape me just now.
but alas my obligations to the downstairs bog have taken precedence over all else at the moment.
i shall do it.
i promise.

my next award was just bestowed by this likely lass
who stands guard on hadrian's wall.
i was born and bred on the  other end of the wall,
and to preserve its history we built houses and shipyards over top of it and cobbled the streets around about.
what did we know?
luckily Hadriana is making sure that all that is swept under the rug and she won't tell anyone what we did.

all i have to do to accept this award is to 'share my flair'.
after i have uncorked the bog that's just what i intend to do.

i hope your saturday is just as lovely as mine.
and that nothing bungs up your day (click for funny pic.)


Steve said...

"I'm sure YOU are lying on a table in a candle-lit room, in an exclusive spa somewhere, nibbling on peeled grapes, listening to gently filtered classical music as DOLF kneads your knotty bits..."

That Dolf gets around. My solarplexus has never been the same since he kneaded it good and proper last month.

Clippy Mat said...

he doesn't get to MY neck of the woods that's for sure, otherwise I'd be sticking a plunger in his mitts.

French Fancy said...

We both got a sunshine award today then but I've got none in the sky so I hope that you have, my toilet cleaning friend.

Gill - That British Woman said...

just thought I'd mention if that doesn't work, use baking soda (bicarb), sprinkle it in, then white vinegar, watch for the fizzing action, then some hot water, that also helps. When ever we have a drain running slowly it clears it, so it should work on the lav as well!!


Clippy Mat said...

Hi FF:
no sun in my sky as such today, hence the blog unblogging.
(which WAS cheered by nice awards)

thanks, i should have consulted you first.
you always have the best tips

Clippy Mat said...

freudian slip there perhaps. meant to say 'bog unplugging, or even bog unblocking'.
but when i come to think of it, perhaps blog unblogging IS appropriate in light of how often I blog thesedays.
if you follow.
if you don't,
never mind.

C said...

i love your new look! you atre so funny, pat... i laughed all the way thru this.. and so did diane.. you english gals are really silly with words bwahahahahaha

yes, i for one, am in that visual you mentioned getting my massage... on a warm breezy beach... oh yeah, baba...

hope everything flushes A-1 OK.


karen gerstenberger said...

I love the new look of your bog -I mean BLOG - and I hope that your BOG is now fresh unclogged, and clean as a daisy. Congratulations on your well-deserved awards!

Clippy Mat said...

C: yes, my new look. i'm not quite sure how i actually achieved it. something to do with blogger and new layouts, click here and there and et voila
and if you are lying there getting a massage then i know that YOU for one deserve it.

thanks. see above. and merci beaucoup for the award congrats too.
my blog, er bog is now officially unblogged er unclogged, er unblocked.

TechnoBabe said...

I WISH I were lying on a table in a candle lit room getting a massage. But alas, not to be. I did watch a Johnny Depp movie with my hubby and munched on potato chips. That's as good as it gets here.

Clippy Mat said...

T.Babe: Johnny Depp AND a bag of chips!? NOT to be snuffed at.

French Fancy said...

Yes, I think 'blog unblogging' is a perfect description!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Lovely blog.(Bog). Reminds me of our cess pit in Lincolnshire. happy days!

Clippy Mat said...

I think you are right!

Cess pits and bogs. Ah, the finer things in life.

Molly Potter said...

You're all you should be.

I also award you the magical-zany-whirlwind-person award.


Bleech work?

Anonymous said...

love you mom
congrats on your awards x x jenn

Clippy Mat said...

thank you I accept the magical-zany-whirlwind award, gratefully and graciously.
your pal,

ahh, thanks pet. love you too.

Busy Bee Suz said...

You make me laugh so hard. I hope I don't have any clogs...if I do, i will see if DOLF can get them out for me. :)
Poor Sandy. Can't a nice girl marry a rough and ready tattooed up man and live a nice quiet life anymore? Damn tatooed strippers.
Love the new layout...sweet, like YOU.

Clippy Mat said...

Suz: Those strippers always let the cat out of the bag.

DOLF is only good at kneading out knots sadly, hasn't got the first clue what to do with a plunger. On the other hand he is tattooless and totally faithful.

Pam said...

Doh! I just gave you an award but you have it already. That's what you get for being popular. Happy Easter X

Life with Kaishon said...

Darn it! I couldn't continue reading to the end because I was in fact on a massage table eating frozen grapes... Congratulations on your awards though. How exciting : )

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Clipstress, well deserved, my pet!

I loved your lonnnnggg post (after so long an absence we deserved a lonnnnggg post) about shopping and the coat/waistcoat/lint roller thingie... It was beautifully funny and I sooo saw myself in it!

And then, there's you, reading the Seniors' Menu - Whahhhhttttt?!

Can't believe it. No. Not a day over 45 is Clipstress!

I loved the teaching rant too, and tell your friend, eh, that we've now been promoted into the Premier League, so watch out ManU - Funny how no-one who ever supports THAT team lives in Mancs!

Love to you, Clipstress, rant and rave on, my dahlink! Yours, in the Frozen North, Fhina xxx

the fly in the web said...

Read this shortly after escaping close contact with a Mayan spa complex in Honduras which threatened to have you feeling as if you had been reincarnated as someone with the unlikely name of Smoke Jaguar - or was it Eighteen Rabbit?
All I did was to wander into the hot springs which seemed to be open to all and then blasted women with towels were coming at me with intent to do GBH with loofahs and natural essences.
I legged it.
The blocked bog is preferable.

Clippy Mat said...

then I will just have to give you an award then. :-)

Life with K: Hi! thanks for coming over and thanks for the congrats. :-)

you're all caught up then. which means it's time i posted something again i think.
I will aim to get cracking :-)

sounds like you had a narrow escape. Mayan masseurs in Honduras. Now that's what I call exciting. :-)

J. Hi said...

Happy Plunging! :)

donn said...

Am I the only person who cannot multi-task? Look at you all acceptin' awards and plunging like it ain't no big thang.

Goood for's nice to be appreciated :)

Clippy Mat said...

Hi! Funnily enough, I am happy plunging. It gives you a good feeling to be 'unclogged.' :-)

Yes, you are the only person who cannot multi-task. Sorry to break it to you. I will give you an award that might help.