Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Clippy Mat and the Deathly Hallows at Twilight

It's late.
It's 11.14 p.m. to be precise and I haven't got a thing to write about.
I've just scanned Google news to see what's happening.
Perhaps there is some kind of insightful social commentary I could make?
That would really make you sit up wouldn't it?
Don't worry, not going to happen.
All I saw over there was doom, gloom and bloody murder.
Tho' I did see something about Harry Potter.
So I'm guessing they've gone and made another HP movie then?
Normally my inner barge pole steers me clear of making statements on my blog that could likely incite riots.
But as I say, there's not much blog fodder at this time of night.

So, here goes nothing.
I have to say that I absolutely cannot stand Harry Potter books or movies!
To me they are complete and utter sh*te and I put them up there with those vampire books.
I've said it.
And I don't even care.
Well you may not agree with me.
And most likely you don't.
Because it seems I am in the minority.
The world and his wife love that stuff.
That's all you hear; it's either Edward this or Harry that.
Not to mention Hermione!
Has anybody ever, in the living memory of anyone under the age of 97, been called Hermione?
I'm sorry but it's the dumbest name ever.
I think that puts me off more than anything.
Oh that and Muggles.
I cannot stand Muggles!
Stupid, stupid word!
It's just so Enid Blyton isn't it?

I did read one of the H.Potter books, the first one, just to see for myself.
And I tried to read one of the Twilight books.
I remember how people were absolutely 'overcome' with the vapours about these books so I thought I'd better just take a gander.
I watched the first H.Potter movie too.
Purely for research purposes of course.
And I saw the Twilight movie on a flight to England once.
Couldn't avoid watching it really.
So, I'm not completely spouting rubbish without knowing from whence I speak.
And because I had nothing else to say, I thought I'd say that.
And risk your ire.
Well, if you're an American, you'll be too busy eating Turkey anyway to come over here and read what I'm waffling on about today.
So it's just we Brits most likely.
50% of you will like Master Potter is my guess.
And perhaps 45% will like Twilight stuff.
My truth is that I cannot abso-bloody-lutely stand any of it and my daughter is going to be royally pissed off with me for saying so 'cos she loves them both.
There now,
There's the cat among the pigeons and I'm off to me bed.
'Night all.
Talk amongst yourselves and don't go leaving me any nasty comments about HP and my maligning him or Edward Thingumy.
I'll just delete them anyway.
With my magic wand. Wingardium leviwhatsit.


Busy Bee Suz said...

You are so funny.
I am not really a fan either...but my kids are. Really, what do they know though??? they are not sophisticated like us. :)
When I was reading the first HP book to my girls (a hundred years ago) I really tore up Hermoine's was butchered by me.

Steve said...

Edward? Who is Edward?

Have to say I am a huge fan of the films and the wife and I will be going to see the latest release on Saturday... please don't hold it against me.

C said...

labia majorum is what i thought i heard hermione say once bwahahahahaha

i am not crazy about twilight at all at all... but i do like harry potter. for me the reason is it strikes alot of magical wonderment with me inner child, what can i say? the first time i saw the dining room in da movie with the open ceiling and candles alit.. i gasped and have been hooked since. i still dont understand it all, and cant even pronounce the peeps names!

but its certainly ok that you dont like them...

ChiTown Girl said...

C!! You're crazy!! I think it was a very different version of Harry Potter where Hermoine said that....Hairy Pooter, maybe? ;-)

Clippy, I'm sorry to say, I'm a pretty big HP fan. This latest movie (HP7P1) is the first one we didn't go to see at the midnight opening. I guess Stud has finally outgrown it, much to his mother's dismay. I couldn't exactly go alone!

Now, Twilight is a totally different story. I've never seen any of the films or read any of the books, and I have ZERO interest in doing either.

Clippy Mat said...

Suz: It's true. What do our kids know? No sophistication like what we got ever, has them?.

Steve: Edward Cullen innit? Twilight? Sorry I was combining my dislike of both characters and confusing people. I won't hold it against you but pardon me a little daydream that during the movie your lovely wife and yourself will suddenly turn to each other and say, "WTF?" then you'll stand up and throwing your popcorn at the screen, march out yelling "CRAP!" at the top of your voices....

It could happen, you never can tell.

C: I think that's what Hermione actually DID say. You are right. My inner child is all cynical and twisted sorry to say.

Cheech: I knew I was backing a loser here with this post. So far it's me and Suz and Stud of course. He's all grown up now.

HP7P1 is that like 'muggles speak' for the movie? You Potter nerd you!

Anonymous said...

Ha! I knew this rant would come. Now I can understand not liking twilight bc its immature and vampires aren't for everyone BUT had you read books 4 to 7 of HP you wouldn't be saying that!JK Rowling is a genius. The movies are just an accessory. I will watch them and enjoy the story coming to life but its all about the books! Everyone knows they're great but I guess you have to have an imagination and an attention span to get involved in them! TUT TO YOU. I'm annoyed and you knew I would be. Daughter. Ps ill name my first born hermione and you will just have to DEAL.

Clippy Mat said...

DAUGHTER? Uh-oh, I knew it wouldn't be pretty. You can name your first child Hermione pet, I will love her anyway. I'll just call her Patty for short.
BUT just remember where you got your love of reading in the first place! :-))
(and your vicious temper.)
Love you darling,

The Incredible Woody said...

I didn't take a ride on the HP or Twilight train either. Glad to find someone else:)

Anonymous said...

I've had a few hours to think and I forgive u for now your own opinion and all that jazz. Jenn x x

Clippy Mat said...

Woody:Welcome aboard. It can be a touchy subject apparently. :-)

Dear Jenn Aka Anonymous: Thank you for your forgiveness. Your compassion and understanding also comes from me. Love you x

Mark said...

Well I'm in the 5% that likes neither, so with you all the way on this one Clippy. HP is especially dreadful and I too have read one book and seen two films ( I absolutely refused after that)

Not bad for nothing to write about.

Five days and counting

Clippy Mat said...

Mark: 5 days seems like an awful lot at this time of night when I'm brain dead and have nothing for tomorrow. :-)

Sara said...

Agree totally. But did you hear that one of your nieces was at the HP premiere in Paris on Monday!! She was hanging out with the cast even though she's never read a single page! haha.

Clippy Mat said...

Sara: I heard that! The little minx mixing it up with the cast and as you say doesn't even READ H.P. So funny! I'm waiting to hear all about it from her but so far she's not saying much. Hope there's photos.