Thursday, August 20, 2009

coffee!

well i hate to post and be totally negative especially when i've been neglectful recently but after all isn't that the point of a blog?
to vent?
well go on just have a seat.
humour me.
i knew this morning it would not be a good day.
i knew it as soon as i got up.
i had to go to the lab for blood work.
fasting blood work.
which means nil by mouth until blood is removed.
which means no coffee.
which means me in a grumpy mood.
not waking up to a cup of coffee is just plain wrong.
it's like trying to start your car without engine oil isn't it?
anyway when i get to the lab i find it's moved.
only two doors down but still.
then i go into the building and can't locate the lab.
there are doctors' offices with reception windows, all closed as yet at this early hour.
i look around and then i see someone coming out of an office so i ask 'where's the lab please?'
i'm in the middle of an area which branches off in several directions.
"behind you." she says. without pointing in any direction. "see the sign?"
duh no.
because if i did why would i ask YOU?
SHE on the other hand is holding HER coffee cup.
i look at her, look at her cup and then i turn around.
so i follow the arrow and enter the lab.
there's a man in a white coat (oh yeah) in there taking blood from a woman and i realize it's only one room so i have to go back out to the waiting room but not before i see that he has given me the look.
you know, THE LOOK.
the one that says "don't you know you shouldn't come in here until i call your name? you dummy."
THAT look.
so i go back to the waiting room.
in a few minutes the other patient leaves and then the man in the white coat comes out and asks me "are you clippy mat?"
i'm the only one in the waiting room.
i have an appointment at 8.30.
it's 8.30.
but i say yes and i go in and he already has my requisition on his desk.
telling him why i'm there.
so i put my health card away in my wallet.
close my wallet and then put it in my handbag.
put my handbag on the other chair.
ready my arm for his needle after he has perused the requisition and THEN he says,
"i need your health card." sounding just a tad snippy if you ask me.
"i just put it away." i said.
he knew i'd done that. he watched me.
oh i thought, we're playing games.
okay
so then he ties the tourniquet.
very, very tight.
i am used to tourniquets.
i have blood work done (in another lab) every month.
the tourniquet is NEVER that tight.
after about 10 seconds of pain i say,
"that is way too tight."
he loosens it a fraction without acknowledging my comment OR my pain.

there is a long uncomfortable silence while he withdraws about 7 vials of blood from my arm.
because just before he did that he said, somewhat absently "just a small prick."
WELL!
what would you have said?
"YEP!" i replied.
and looked him right in the eye.
oh yeah.
he KNEW.
and I KNEW HE KNEW
and HE KNEW I KNEW HE KNEW
then i went for coffee.
;-)

29 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

bwah hahahahaha!! Kudos, Clippy, kudos!

Crazy Mo said...

Booyah! Oh yeah. High five! You go girl!!

The Incredible Woody said...

Mwahahaha! I would have loved to see his face!!

karengberger said...

I love, love, love this posting! Thank you.

Coffee is really a necessity these days, isn't it? And that lab tech threw that one right over home plate; what did he expect you to do, ignore it? Most of us would have had to go home, kick ourselves and say, "I should have said...," but YOU are clever enough to think of it, and say it, at the right time! I think your work is done for the day. =)

clinka said...

go get 'em clippy! good for you, pet.
jbxo

Clippy Mat said...

chi-chi: thanks for the kudos.

Mo: high 5.

Woody: his face was sorta pasty and 'snotty' can you picture it?

karen: i'm surprised without the coffee i could think of ANYTHING to say.

clinka:
thanks pet :-)

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Awesome! You rock it!

lakeviewer said...

I had to read the whole thing! Brava.

Busy Bee Suz said...

oh, tears are streaming down my face. Too funny. Perhaps the small prick forgot to have his coffee this a.m?

I look so forward to my morning coffee...it is air for me.

Pam said...

Brilliant Clippy! One of those rare times we actually get to say it, as opposed to thiking of the witty reply 3 days later.
XXX

Clippy Mat said...

ET's wife:
thanks :-)

lakeviewer: nice to meet you and thanks for the comment.

suz: we have so much in common! :-)


pam: i know. and if i'd had my coffee first... lookout! LOL

Steve said...

In and out like a stiletto blade. Me like. ;-)

Wend's Place said...

Who's a clever Clippy then?! Great post! Bravo!

I can't go without my Earl Grey in a morning. Mutley has it at the ready so as to avoid any unpleasant confrontations like this one.

What a horrible man to treat his patient without concern.

Clippy Mat said...

steve:
a stiletto blade? haha

wend: earl grey in the morning? so refined ;-)

Jenn said...

hahaha oh god!! like mother like daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love you xxxxxxxxxxxxx glad you got your coffee xxxxxxxxx

Lakeland Jo said...

marvellous- absolutely brilliant. As someone who suffers much blood taking, I just loved this story
X

Clippy Mat said...

jenn: yes, you get your rapier like wit (bitchiness) from moi. LOL

jo: yep the things we have to suffer and you'd think that those that make us suffer would be a bit nicer about it.

KayDee said...

That was SOOOO good. Sounds like the miserable bugger hadn't had his coffee either.

Granny on the Web said...

You were very restrained! Love the undercurrent of your thoughts.
super post.

Love Granny

Grace Matthews said...

Coffee is an essential part of my living so I totally know how you feel. "Little Prick" got just what he deserved...LOL

Moannie said...

Occasionally you get a Vampire with a wicked power complex...but you gave it to him for all us wimps who think it but never say it. Yeah.

Gill - That British Woman said...

Hi Pat,

The Shopper's thing is not complicated and is very worthwhile. Just print out, or copy and paste what I wrote.

What it boils down to, is buy Shopper's Gift cards first. Then buy your other gift cards, in $75 increments(just remember to buy the ones with the bonus points, see my list), and pay for them with your Shopper's Drug gift card. You get points for buying SDM gift cards, and 7,000 bonus points for buying the other gift cards.

The 15,000 bonus points transaction, is simple, just buy $75 worth of product and pay with it using your SDM gift cards and you get 15,000 bonus points today. Just remember its $75 BEFORE the taxes!!

Any questions just ask away!!

Gill

TechnoBabe said...

Oh yeah, been there. Not a nice place to be especially without coffee. Great job walking us through this story. I hope you had a special cuppa!!

Kee said...

Only Clippy.....hahahahah

Brian Miller said...

lol. hope you enjoyed the coffee and the day is getting much brighter.

Kathleen said...

So well told! Who wouldn't be grouchy without that first cup. Kudos to you for even finding the place! And congrats on the POTD mention.

Clippy Mat said...

thank you to everyone else for your feedback and comments. nice to meet you if you are new here and I hope you will come back again. I'm catching up on all of YOUR blogs now.
thanks for letting me know about the POTD mention. that's neat.
:-)

C said...

only you can make a humourous post about a blood draw! hahahahahaha
hope all of it comes out normal.

C

Kee said...

CONGRATS ON THE POTD MENTION! YOUR A STAR...TWINKLE TWINKLE!