Monday, August 24, 2009


just sometimes i get a little frustrated with my other half.
sometimes i feel a little confused.
we were watching tv.
apropos of nothing really he says.
"those onions in the laundry room are rotten."
"they're all bad." he goes on.
"they smell." he elaborates.
"they've all gone off." he says warming to the topic.
"oh yeah, they really stink."

"ugh really?"
the penny dropped.
"i wondered what that god awful smell was. i've noticed that for a couple of days now. is that what it was?"

"yeah. bad onions."

"i kept thinking it was the cat litter. i cleaned that litter box like a madwoman."

"hmmm" he's watching the news.

the onions were in a basket on top of the fridge and i tried to recall how long they'd been there and how i could have forgotten about them.

"they are all soft and they smell like pee." he told me as the news went to a break.

"ugh" i felt queasy at the thought of the congealed smelly mess that must have been in the bottom of that basket.
"now it means the organics bin is going to REALLY stink by thursday when the garbage gets picked up." i say.

i think about this for a minute as we watch the commercials.
and then another penny drops.

'you threw them out didn't you?'



"what? why not? i mean why wouldn't you throw them out? they're soft, they stink like pee and they're rotten."

'i dunno. i thought you wanted them.'


ChiTown Girl said...

wow, boys can be so stupid sometimes...

Lakeland Jo said...

you will never know how much this made me laugh- are we married to the same man?

Busy Bee Suz said...

MEN!!!!! Doesn't stuff like this just drive you nuts!
I am sure he really thought you wanted them??? You should have saved them and put them in his car. :0

TechnoBabe said...

This is so funny. We can all relate. I am so like you on matters like this. Did you ask your better half what he thought you could do with rotten onions? Maybe re-plant them? I like the way this post can be read, like actually being there.

The Incredible Woody said...

So its true then? All men really do think alike?!?

Evil Twin's Wife said...

ROFL!!! Oh yeah, because I can think of SO many recipes that call for rotten onions!

Pam said...

ha ha ha ha!!!
Were your husband and mine separated at birth?

Steve said...

Yep. That's male logic. Err on the side of caution. Gets me into trouble too.

Wend's Place said...

HAHAHAHA! They are a weird bunch aren't they men! I know mine is the same although he is pretty good at putting the rubbish out!!

It is frustrating when someone doesn't think for themselves though I feel your pain.

Brilliantly written though!!

C said...

typical maleness. why would he think you wanted them? he must have been thinking with his other head....



clinka said...

ha ha ha
onions are supposed to make you cry, not laugh... but i am certainly laughing!


lakeviewer said...

Well, it's confusing, no? A good lesson.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Err. Other half does the cooking. He would use them up super quick. Puts me to shame!

Tracey said...

Hahahahaha Its a man thing...

Kee said...

the whole time i am reading this i am thinking 'he didn't throw them out". how did i know before the end...cause 1) he is a man and 2) i am married to his son!

CannedAm said...

I knew it. I knew what was coming. And still I belly laughed right through the end. Oh yeh. That's the way it works.

karengberger said...

I love this story. A perfect example of the different planets we come from.

Casey said...

Oh, I know this man! Either that or he's got a lot of clones out there.