Friday, July 31, 2009

oh, just make up your own title...

Hello followers:
my little square picture friends over there.
yes, you.
how are you all doing?
are you all okay?
all 34 of you?
where did you come from i wonder?
did you just happen by and decide to hang out for a while longer?
was it something i said?
or did?
or wrote?
did i come to your blog and visit you and you thought you'd pop over here and repay the compliment?
how kind.

what can i do to keep you?

tired of waiting for me to write something that you can actually follow?
thinking of un-following?

what can i say to make you feel better?
can i write something fun and entertaining to keep you motivated -- to ensure you stay over there on my right, your little photo suspended hopefully in mid-air, willing me on to write something that you might even be remotely interested in reading?

dear, dear follower, if only i could, then believe me, i would.

i look over at your little faces, or emblems, in your little square frames and i feel so proud.
so glad that you decided to follow me.
so happy that you are there every time i sadly click on my blog in the feint hope that my last post will not still be staring back at me, mockingly, taunting me to come up with something else.

but then.
i feel this sort of;
anxiety about non-performance.
just as i imagine an impotent man might feel.
but who knows?
(who cares?)

so i sit here, fingers poised over my keyboard and i type a few lines.
then i backspace 'em out.
then i look in my folders for a picture to inspire and upload which might enhance my powers of production.
after a while i stretch my arms overhead.
i stand up and look over at the telly in the corner.
eastenders is playing.
how un-inspirational is that dear followers?
i make myself a coffee.
i pet the dog and shuffle the little pile of papers on top of my desk.
and then as i stare at the desk before me i actually see it as it is.
i take a wet cloth, rinsed in a little bit of warm soapy water and disinfectant and i wipe off my mouse and my keyboard.
the white top of my desk.
which reminds me of a pristine piece of paper waiting for the pen.
cleanliness always inspires me.
but, sadly, not this time.

so dear followers.
i will just go back to YOUR blog(s).
and read what YOU have to say.
it's easier that way.
and i will add MY picture to your little gallery as good friends do.
and i will smile at what you have written.
and try not to be sad that i couldn't come up with something as equally entertaining.

today anyway.
maybe tomorrow?
we can hope.
bye for now little friendly followers.
you mean so much to me.
p.s. i tried to copy and paste your little pictures into this post but alas i could not manage it!
i leave you with a picture which i swiped from another website only this morning and which made me laugh and i hope that when you look at it too dear follower(s) you will also smile.

p.p.s. yes, yes, i realize the picture has nothing whatsoever to do with the subject matter of this post, but a post without a picture of some sort is not even a post about not posting is it?


Stephanie Faris said...

Cute! No pressure. Just write what you're thinking...which you did. Thanks for the smile!

The Incredible Woody said...

That was a hoot!!

clinka said...

just like seinfeld... you do a great job, even when you may feel you are saying nothing at all!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Even when you have nothing to say, you make me laugh. I luvs you Clippy!

How is that puppy doing? How about the new baby? huh? any news there???

Steve said...

Ah - the pressure. I know it well. What helps is to forget any thought about what you ought to write and just write what you want to write. People will either read it and comment or they won't. Everybody has freedom of choice... which means there really is no pressure unless we create our own. ;-)

Granny on the Web said...

I think we have all been there Clippie, stale, dry, barren, but you have managed to make a super post out of it, so you are not too dry then!
Loved the 'wrong' translation you pinched from wherever, sometimes they are such a giggle, but then I think to myself, could I do any better translating it to their language!!! and the answer is always, No.

Love Granny

Clippy Mat said...

stephanie: good advice.
you're welcome for the smile. here's another :-)

woody: cheers, me dear. hooting back at you. :-)

clinka: seinfeld indeed. 'not that there's anything wrong with that'. love it. :-)

suz: thanks. luvs you too. loads of dog and baby stories coming up :-)

steve: my problem is not about what i OUGHT to write, it's about not having a clue about WHAT i want to write... LOL

granny: yep stale as 2 day old bread. but now i've milked that topic what's next? that's my dilemma haha
glad you liked the translation pic. i still can't figure out what it's about..??

Kee said...

have u lost it????

Clippy Mat said...

kee: moi? lost it? i never really had it.

Expat mum said...

If you'd been at school the English teacher would've written "Irrelevant waffle" in the margin. Or did that just happen to me?
Very entertaining tho'.

KayDee said...

That was really cute Clippy. I only have 11 little boxes looking at me but you are one of them and for that I am really grateful.

I forget how I got here now but I think I may have followed a funny comment from someone elses blog. Maybe Steve's?

Clippy Mat said...

expat: so B- then?

kaydee: good to have you, as it were LOL. thanks for coming over. i've added you to my reader so i can keep up. :-)

Jenn said...

hehe that was a nice shout out to your followers anyway
keep it up
love u

Wend's Place said...

Haha! Writers block huh?! Be you. If you write what is in your heart rather than worrying about what other folk think then you will be able to flow through the block. Good luck!

Jessica the Finished Product said...

found yas through Stephanie Faris, I like your wit and sense of humor hope to read more from you soon, my posts will be random that you will think I have fallen of the world into oblivion, but I am always here waiting for inspiration, and now I won't feel bad for erratic postings.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Do your own thing. You are always entertaining and encouraged me in my early days.

Attila The Mom said...

Ok, now that made me long for a nap. LOL

Good to see you posting! No pressure.

Really. ;-)

C said...

awww you'll NEVAH lose me clippy, i'm yours forevah and evah! can't get rid a this old baG. NOPE.

cheer up friend, tomorrows another day and hey, maybe you'll ge lucky with the mr.

one can only hope.


Gill - That British Woman said...

when you do write a post I find it interesting, keep up the good work.


cherie said...

thank you for thinking about US! i'm new but i think it won't hurt to join the band, always a good thing to learn something. nice to meet you, ma'am...

Snooty Primadona said...

Actually, it's your sunny disposition that keeps me coming back. But hey - I made it all the time you were gone without wiping out the link to your blog on my sidebar, LOL! I should think that would account for SOMETHING! he he hee hee

Clippy Mat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
C said...

i think that picture lost QUITE A BIT i mean a little in translation! bwahahahaha

oh clippy, anything you post is always good, i feel comforted by knowing you are there and sometimes when i feel alone and down, even rereading older posts you've written comfort me or make me laugh....

and so, your words are not for naught... dear clippy. how is your family? r u going on any vacations soon?

got any cool pictures of england?

cook any brit meals lately.? diane made shepards pie but it is different than the candienne one my mom and me makes.

saw a picture of pasties on here the other day and we were debating over which ones she would eat and the ones i would try. i dont eat lamb or goat or organs but she does, she likes steak and kidney pie... she's a very dirty woman, that diane is. yuk. and she likes all the blood puddins and white and black puddins... double yuk... she's lucky i will even kiss her hahahahahaha
but i do love crumpets, PG tips tea, bubble and squeek, ah she makes many yummy dishes.

well see there, i have a few questions for you to ponder...

do you make anything from the old country for your hubby?

take care,

always your bud.... hugs to you-


Stinking Billy said...

clippy, There is nothing wrong with a post without a picture. I never posted a picture yet (except that thumbnail thing a couple of months ago and couldn't delete quickly enough) and have never felt the need. Horses for courses, I suppose. x

Busy Bee Suz said...

checking to see if all is well???