Monday, August 18, 2008

longwinded? who me?

this is going to be my new blog.
it's going to be short and to the point.
no more long posts that go on for ever.
i've been reading o.p's blogs and theirs are so much more succinct.

what do you think so far?
recently we went to niagara falls.
great nanny noo noo, who, i have previously mentioned, is 84 and has the stamina of a horse and the work ethic of a coal miner, had an inclination to go to the casino and spend some dosh.
and to win some dosh too, if she could manage it.
she won $100 which we made her cash in before she could put it right back in the slots.
there are thousands of people there who are just throwing their money away.
we felt quite smug because we came out ahead.
alas we forgot to put our 'players' card in the slot machine to rack up points and to validate parking.
(we have approx. 11 points so you can see how much profit the OLG* is making from us).
so we had to pay when we left.
and the attendant was quite bitchy too.
which, if truth be told, and i worked in a booth in an underground parking lot, i probably (ok definitely) would be a lot more bitchy than she was.
but to round off a wonderful evening (!) we ate at a pub in the casino before leaving.
the guys at the table next to us told us they had been out on the drink with the chef the night before.
they were eating fish and chips. "don't order the fish and chips." they said.
so we didn't.
our food looked terrible when it came.
it tasted awful too and did not resemble what we'd ordered but we were hungry and the servers were obviously 'new'.
we were giving the chef a 'break' on account of his hangover.
didn't want to complain.
you know how it is.
so we ate it anyway because we'd waited so long.
then we left a tip.
we went to the casino again last week with my sister and her husband who have been visiting.
they were here for two weeks.
we each played $20.
i know.
we're mad, impetuous fools!
what we should have done instead was just thrown it away.
or given it to someone in need.

last week in washington d.c. i gave a creative panhandler $20 canadian.
(i had no U.S. $ because *m.o.h. was handling the cash that day.)
m.o.h. almost swallowed his tongue when he saw me hand over the bill.
he'd been looking for some pocket change but i beat him to it.
the panhandler gave me an 'obama for president' sticker.
i saw them in a gift shop later for a couple of bucks.
at least he wasn't taking money for nothing right?

that night we met an old lady down at the 'rotary' in gettysburg.
she was sitting outside the store she worked in.
she was bragging about her age and how long she'd worked there.
since the civil war is my guess.
her skin was like leather and tanned so dark, like she'd been left out in the sun.
'i'm 84!' she loudly announced to my surprised sister, who hadn't even enquired.
'my mother'd run rings round her' m.o.h. hissed to me under his breath with an air of pride.
thinking of great nanny noo noo.
it's true.
we visualised an imaginary competition of strength and agility between gettysburg old woman and great nanny noo noo.
great nanny noo noo won hands down as she completed all of the tasks/feats of strength we assigned whilst simultaneously ironing and polishing the floor with dusters attached to her feet.
84! ?
eat my dust old woman!
short and sweet eh?
i do try.
My sister and h.o.h. (her other half) at gettysburg. little round top in fact. oh yes, we are civil war buffs now.

*OLG = Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation
*m.o.h. = my other half.


Wor Vron said...

oh yes the battle of little round top I believe what was his name behind us?!Borrowing John Wayne's 'Horse Soldiers' DVD soon and watching Gods and Generals to relive it all!
Noo noo could run rings round them all!!!

Anonymous said...

How typically British - giving the hung-over chef the benefit of the doubt, eating his awful food And leaving a tip too! Used to love you type when I was waitressing - always used the 'its my first day' trump card & it never failed that & the strategic two buttons undone on ones blouse whilst always facing the husband!