Monday, June 23, 2008

time to kill

driving to work yesterday morning i was of course concentrating and watching the road ahead.
as you do.
(luckily i had just finished my phone call, fiddled with the radio stations a bit and changed lanes twice while checking my nose and my make up in the rear view mirror.)
i could see that there was some roadkill coming up and i prepared myself to look away until the mess had passed.
this is my usual reaction.
because if i do see it it will be imprinted on my brain for evermore, replaying itself at inopportune moments such as when i am about to eat.
but this time as i was approaching i could see what looked to be an intact roadkill.
this is quite unusual in my experience.
it was lying at the side of the road.
a dead rodent of some kind.
something nocturnal that i don't know too much about.
raccoons and skunks - i can identify them quite well.
but these ones, i'm just not that sure about.
they have:
long snouts, long tails and large claws. brown fur.
quite scary looking.
this one was lying on its back.
legs in the air.
and it looked quite hilarious.
like it was drunk or sleeping it off.
or indulging in some kind of off road sunbathing.
dead as a doorknob.
but, remarkably, still in perfect condition.
no bloody trail of guts and/or entrails which make me want to hurl if i happen to glance unawares.
and which make me steer dangerously to prevent further damage to the corpse.
this creature looked like it was very recently in the prime of its life.
maybe it didn't end up under the wheels of an unsuspecting vehicle as it sped by.
perhaps it just came to the end of its own road.
and thought, 'enough is enough. and this is as good a place as any to make an exit.'
he (i've decided it was an he) looked like he had whiskers which gave him a mature and quite gentrified appearance.
he looked like he had been laid out by a professional undertaker.
and was just waiting for his pals to file by to pay their last respects.
he lay in repose, 'dignified' in death.
so instead of speeding by with eyes averted which would have been just callous, i doffed my imaginary cap to him as i slowed down.
it was the least i could do.

speaking of road kill.
i jest about my multi-tasking behind the wheel.
well except for the phone call part which i know is not good.
i will try not to do it again.
but anyhoo i was driving the little red car yesterday.
it's a standard gear shift by way of explanation.
and i was at an intersection in the next street to mine waiting to turn right into the traffic.
when a suitable gap came i took my foot off the clutch in preparation of gunning it and blasting out into the traffic in the short gap that had occurred.
but then i thought better of it, wasn't certain that i could do it without making the car that was approaching have to brake a little.
not a good idea.
so i actually rolled back a foot or two which will happen when you are on an incline and driving a standard car.
i looked in my mirror at the car behind me to see if the occupants were perturbed by my slightly rolling backwards towards them.
i needn't have worried.
the driver was totally oblivious.
she was straightening her hair.
with a flat iron.
two hands on the job.
she must have been delighted to have some time at the intersection.
now THAT's roadkill.
killing time on the road and using every second productively.
my kind of woman! :-))


Rinkly Rimes said...

Rinkly Rimes here!

At last I've founnd time to leaf through other peoples' Blogs! I'm harkig back a bit with yours. I was entranced with all your descriptions but it was the two old ladies who stopped me in my tracks! May I please enlarge on the indelicate blurb under the picture and translate it into verse? It's priceless!
Brenda Bryant

Clippy Mat said...

brenda, be my guest. i can't claim that i know who originally penned the 'indelicate blurb'. i think it's just a joke that went around so i'm sure you can do it justice with one of your verses. :-)

Dave Morris said...

That dead animal - could it have been an oppossum or a badger? Or a mink?

Or maybe a thingy?

So I find it quite easy to eat with both hands while driving, as long as the curves aren't too sharp that my knees can't aid my navigation. Further, I can carry on a hands-free conversation at the same time. I know you're impressed...

Clippy Mat said...

it was definitely a 'thingy'. they are native to this neck of the woods. :-)

Anonymous said...

lol brilliant
laughed out loud

jenn xx