Sunday, November 2, 2008

number 2, only 28 to go

on friday i went for my annual physical.
when i phoned the office at the beginning of october to make the appointment i was told that the physical was overdue.
by 8 months!
that i could book an apt. for a physical with my doctor...
at the end of may or beginning of june,
yep, 2009.
so much for 'annual' then.

BUT, i was told, if i was willing to see the nurse practitioner instead, they could fit me in sooner.
in 3 weeks time.
which was friday.

my appointment was at 10.20 a.m.
i arrived at 10.10 a.m. just to be courteous.
giving me time to register with the receptionist and to collect my thoughts before the event.
i sat and waited, leafing thru some magazines.
and waited.
and a bit more waiting.
those magazines were boring.
why don't they just make ONE magazine that's ALL recipes and the rest of the mags can be about stuff i want to read.
like oh,
not about brad and angelina!
jenn and john,
and not on tips on how to clean out your closet or organize your home files.
what are you? so dense that you need a step by step instruction on how to do that?
it's not a magazine you need.
you need H.E.L.P. of a whole other kind.
i want to read how people lost weight.
i want to read that they ate what they wanted, when they wanted and never exercised a jot.
i think that magazine hasn't been finalized yet.
but i digress.
you can see how antsy i was at this point.
i always get a tad testy before this kind of appointment.

at 10.55 the nurse came out to meet me.
she offered no explanations for her lateness.
she looked completely unperturbed.

i have to say, i was the only person in the waiting room.
i tried not to seethe.
i do NOT want to get my BP taken or a personal exam by someone i'm angry at.
so i said NOWT.
bit my tongue.
and that wasn't easy.
i'm sure you can tell.

the nurse was young.
younger than my daughters in law and only slightly older than my own daughter i'm guessing.

one of the questions she asked me was,
'are you sexually active?'
"no" says i.
"i just lie there and think of england."

no sense of humour.

she asked me all kinds of questions and by the time i left.
we learned that;
i am overweight.
(quelle surprise)
(nursey was at least 50 - 75 pounds heavier than moi but we didn't mention that.)
we could have had a nice little chat on that subject.
in fact we could have bonded but she didn't bring it up, and i didn't think it was my place to make comparisons.
so we just pretended that i was the only one with a weight problem.
nursey told me that i am not in fact 5' 8" tall but am only 5' 7 1/2".
that explains me being overweight then.

we learned that my BP was 142/86.
she said that could be down to being in an abnormal situation and wasn't worth worrying about...
(the fact that i was anxiously trying not to focus on legs in stirrups and cold steel implements probably didn't help.)

luckily, sigh of relief, we decided that i didn't need a pap smear this year after all, as i'd had one last year and because i have had the same sex partner these many years i, therefore, wasn't as much at risk....?
yay for me and my sex life.
way to go.
there's a LOT to be said for being boring.

i left with a requisition for blood work.
a requisition for an x-ray on my shoulder and one for an ultra sound on the same shoulder.
an appointment to see the doctor this month about said shoulder.
not sure what the problem is with the shoulder but it's hurty and getting on my nerves.
i also have an appointment with a doctor of internal medicine for a colonoscopy.

the reason for the colonoscopy is that i am over 50!
i have an appointment for a mammogram (o deep joy) at the breast screening clinic.
(again because i am over 50)

so the next few months of my life will no doubt be spent in waiting rooms trying to control my blood pressure while health care professionals take liberties with my time, patience and personal bits and pieces.
i shall however remain calm and composed at all times and bring something good to read.


BusyBeeSuz said...

I agree on the magazines...still waiting for that "no diet or excerise" one myself.
are you sexually active?'
"no" says i.
"i just lie there and think of england."
Very funny about who has the weight problem...pot, kettle, black etc....
Have you NOT had a mammo yet? Oh, if not, you are a lucky devil. :)

Gina said...

so you guys have universal healthcare in canada right?? i just watched the movie "sicko" in one of my classes and was wondering what its really like?

Lakeland Jo said...

I too loved the sexually active quip- brilliant!!
If you are going to spend more time in waiting rooms why not start a novel? As someone who has spent a lot of time in them over the last couple of years, I could've had a 'war and peace' type series by now! Why not make a profit out of it?

Clippy Mat said...

yep, had the mammos. hate them. necessary evil i know but they are absolutely sadistic are they not?

yes we do. we are lucky in that respect but we have a shortage of good doctors where i live and we are desperate for a new hospital.

werite a nove in the waiting room? LOL
now there's an idea.
you go first.

Expat mum said...

Tee hee, I'm glad I caught this one. I have an annual OB/GYN as they say here, next week. The appointment's 2pm, but I know i won't even be seen by anyone till 3pm, which means there'll be no way to get home for the kids. I'm already having to make "plans". And when you phone to ask if the doctor is running on time, they get very shirty and tell you to come at your allotted time.

Anonymous said...

good girl
but i still think she should have checked, a lot can happen in a year!
xx jenn

C said...

hey clippy...ever think about surprising the OB doc by shaving a cute lil design on the bits? or fluffin some glitter down there, just for shits n giggles? one time i sprinkled black pepper to the point where i could smell something good cookin as i walked in there, but all it did was make the doc sneeze so bad, never did get the exam!

as for the colonoscopy, my doc's been tryin to get me to have one as i am over 50, but my motto is.... EXIT ONLY. no exceptions.

and the tittie smasher? wouldnt it be funny to place a tightly filled water balloon on the equipment when nursey leaves the room, only to hear it get popped n smashed as you scream, as they tighten the machine? i bet that nursey would never forget that!

oooohhhhhhhh the pleasures of pranks one can play if one wanted to......

Clippy Mat said...

expat mum. i hear ya. and what happens if YOU have the temerity to turn up late?
ooh they don't like that then do they?

nursey says i'm good for another year. that'll do for me. :-))

Clippy Mat said...

are you CRAZY? black pepper?
hell no.
i'm much too refined for those kind of tactics. ;-))
re the colonoscopy.
it's worth it to get it checked out. go on, if i can do it so can you.
be a big girl.

C said...

naaaaawww i was just kiddin about the black pepper and stuff. i am a nurse so i DO know the importance of the screens... but, i DONT have to like it. ;)

hope all your tests come out great!

Clippy Mat said...

HA HA i am so relieved.

Gill - That British Woman said...

I have an appointment for a pap smear this month, I am refusing to have a full blown physical, I agree with everything you said though.


weightlossblogger82 said...

good luck with your goal,most of the fat in body is in colon , you can try colon cleaner to reduce your fat .