Sunday, February 1, 2009

this week, last month. tempus fugit

yesterday it was 27 years since we came to live in canada.
for an adventure.
for a few years at the most.
next year i will have lived in Canada for as long as i lived in England.

this week great nanny noo noo, as her great grandchildren have christened her, returned to england after her six week's visit. she will come back in september. at 85 she is still going strong and only slows down slightly. a new baby is coming in april so now she has a focus for returning again. i really believe that's what keeps her going.
me and great nanny noo noo on christmas day.

my own dad turned 87 in january. i see him once a year when i go to england. he lives in a nursing home now since he broke his hip a few years ago and lost his mobility. as a contrast to great nanny noo noo his life is without very much focus. he exists in that time warp that comes sometimes with old age and the monotony of the unstimulated life in a nursing home.
yesterday my sister called to tell me that he has had a stroke. we suspected this when we learned about his choking incidents and tests on his gag reflex confirmed it.
what will happen now? if he continues to eat pureed food he could ingest it into his lungs and may develop a deadly chest infection. the alternative, should the docs think he is a good candidate, which doesn't seem likely due to his age and fragile body, is tube feeding. what kind of a life is that where you never taste food again? one of the few pleasures left to an old man. who makes that decision? he doesn't really understand all of it now.

me and dad on my wedding day. :-)

one of the hardest things about living in another country is watching your relatives get old and realizing how helpless you are. the ramifications of the decision i made so easily all those years ago now makes me accountable.

my friend helen's blog has been dormant for a week or three. she is having computer problems but she will be back, i'm sure.

i had a funny email from esther the other day.

Hi Clippy Mat,
I just wanted to thank you for helping me get the best possible seat for my husband on Southwest. I had to check in online for him. I had to make sure that I clicked on the button at exactly 10.20 this morning. BUT, as my husband has a thing about keeping all the clocks in our house at different times (don't ask me why - he assures me there's good reason) I was worried about not clicking at the right moment. Then I suddenly remembered the clock on your blog. As your clock struck 10.20 I clicked 'check in'. And low and behold, I got him the lowest number he has ever had - A17 (the first 15 are sold so number 2 I suppose).
Maybe that would be a good way to get even more visitors to your blog - market it as a useful online check in aid.
Thank you! Have a good weekend.

isn't that great? my blog is a public servant (!) and i am only happy to help you all out with airline reservations.
it's the least i can do.

over on life with our lads pam gave birth to a new lad, danny. it's so nice to be able to share in other people's good news this way. that's one of the nicest things about blogging isn't it?

and, over on stinking billy not such good news. for reasons undisclosed billy has decided to call it a day after 400 posts. i for one will miss his point of view which is always interesting and the variety of topics he covered.
bye for now billy.

it looks like i might be in england in march for 2 weeks so i would love to meet up with any local bloggers in the north east if we can arrange a mutually convenient rendezvous. let me know if you're up for it.


A Woman Of No Importance said...

Clipstress - you are so beautiful - that mini-wedding dress is just so darling - wonderful!

It is hard dealing with the management of decline (as my clinically experienced cousin terms it) in our relatives - Even if you were over here permanently, it would be no easier, I feel...

I am feeling such a pang of mourning for the loss of Billy to us in the blogging circle too, and I haven't known him all that long, but some relationships can feel so intense here... Perhaps we share more here than we might with people we've known for years...

Lovely photos, take care, Lady Clippy,


C said...

yes it is difficult to live away from your loved ones. i will keep your dad in my prayers. i'm sorry, honey. :(

...woooohhoooo and arent you a lil darlin in your wedding dress? you were one of those "mod" chicks, ey?
you look so, so, SO english. yes, thats it. english! hmmmf imagine that....

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about your dad you and your family are in our prayers.

Tismee2 said...

That is one of the reasons we never actally made it to New Zealand. Hubby's parents were getting older and we are the only family who live close to them. Of course there was Newcastle United and a precious season ticket too!

E-mail me when you get here and I will see what I can do to met up with you. How long are you staying?

karengberger said...

That is a lovely photo of you.
I am very sorry to hear about your dad's condition. That has to be excruciating for you, so far away, to try to be helpful and supportive...and those decisions are really unspeakably hard. Praying for comfort for your heart, wisdom in decisions and great love to surround all of your family, every step of the way.

Esther said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It must be so difficult for you, especially with the distance.

On a brighter note, I LOVE your wedding dress. Fantastic! Maybe you could post some more pics of your wedding??

KCB said...

So sorry about your dad's health, Clippy. I've had several older relatives stuck in the limbo you describe so clearly. In my experience, even when they're close by geographically they're off on their own voyage and it's hard to accept it.

But what a great photo of you and your father. I second the sentiment that your wedding dress was adorable. Very sassy!

ChiTown Girl said...

Clippy, you are more gorgeous every time I see you!! And, that wedding dress! OMG! Weren't you a little hottie!

Sorry to hear about your dad. I can't imagine how hard it is to be that far away at a time like this.

Great Nanny Noo Noo is adorable, by the way. How great that she is still able to travel. You must cherish her visits.

I left you some Bloggy Love over on my blog. Check it out...

The Incredible Woody said...

Sorry about your Dad. My mother had a stroke, which immobilized her for years prior to her death. One of the hardest things I've ever done is watch her slowly slip away, knowing there was nothing that I could do. I'll be praying for comfort for you!

Clippy Mat said...

hi F: i love how you call me clipstress LOL thank you for the compliments and thoughtful words too. :-)

C: i was a little mod back in the day, 1971, 17 years of age!! i wouldn't have worn anything else but a mini, tho' it looks funny now. had to be true to me. :-)

anon: thank you. that is so kind. i am blessed. :-)

Tismee/Gail: I am not sure of my dates but when i book up i will blog about it and hopefully we can arrange a blogfest somewhere? maybe?

karen: thank you. coming from you i appreciate your sincerity and kind words especially. you warm my heart :-)

esther: if only i had some more wedding pics. there were hardly any. our wedding was, shall we say, 'rushed'? a photographer was not in the budget and we cobbled together some snaps that people took. i wish there were more. that's one of my saddnesses. :-)

thank you KCB. you know from whence i speak. i do not look forward to growing old(er). life can be cruel. :-)

CTG: thanks for the bloggy love. you crack me up. and for the kind words. also warms my heart :-)

thank you woody for the prayers and comfort, i know you understand. my mother died a prolonged and agonizing death due to strokes and dementia. i just want one of my parents to have peace and dignity at the end.

Kee said...

Thank-you for making the great sacrifice of moving your family away from your home and family to come and live in Canada. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been and still is at times like these....if not for that move I would not have my wonderful family today! Much love always to a wonderful in laws- i somestimes take for granted how lucky i am to have you only 7 houses away!

Clippy Mat said...

kee: we are the lucky ones to have YOU and our wonderful grandchild -and one more to come.
thanks pet.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Hey clippy...I started to read this post and realized I was in not a good "space" right now...I will be back in the morning to read it fully...thinking it would be trivial. it was not. You know, I take my reading serious here....
Just getting done cleaning after a big party, ruined my nails and burned my fingers somewhat...tired...will be back in the morning. :)
take care,

Clippy Mat said...

suz: get a good night's sleep. and then come back and leave me a comment LOL
what on earth were you doing? i thought you were going to eat corn dogs at the fair?

C said...

hey clipster... top 'o the morn, ta yee...

got some lovin for ya~ come by and get it....


Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about your dad it has to be difficult being so far away we will keep you in our prayers.Judi

LeighAnn said...

darn. Why can't you visit San Francisco? We have a lot in common. I know exactly what you mean with your dad. And your wedding dress is gorgeous!

Clippy Mat said...

C: thanks. i came by and learned that i have a new title, 'british non lesbian'. i am so honoured. you crack me up. :-)

judi: i appreciate that. thank you so much. :-)

Leighann: that's what i want to know. why can't i visit sanfrancisco? one day i will. for sure. :-)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's health issues...that is really tough, I am sure you feel like there is nothing you can do.
I think you can pray for him and just think good thoughts to help him till you can visit. I will be sending good thoughts myself. :) Ok, maybe I will think some dirty jokes for him too...that will cheer him up a bit. :)
Noo noo is adorable as are YOU. Gosh, you are so cute and YOUNG. I bet MOH has to beat the men away with large sticks.
I love the email from Ester....yes, you are such a giver, helping the public know the time and all!!!! :)
thanks for sharing all your toughts.
Oh, we did go to the fair and came home to host a superbowl party. We had about 15 here and I ended up CLEANING all by myself and I didn't even want a was a friend of ours who suggested it. uggghhhh. next year, it will be at her house and I will sit my butt on the couch while she cleans up. ;)
my fingers are better today..not sure how I burnt them...maybe with evil thoughts.
ok, my comment is longer than your post. are you still reading?
how about now?

Marjie said...

3 years back, when my father was dying, my mother called me from Florida crying because she couldn't get the nursing home he was in to release him to a hospice only 3 miles from her house, as opposed to the half hour away where he was. So I dropped the business closing I was tied up in, not to mention Christmas preparations, and I was severely peeved. I opened up on the director of the nursing home with both barrels, and he never knew what hit him. I got the hospice, my father's doctor and the nursing home all under control in 6 hours (a feat the hospice said couldn't be done - it usually took 3 days, they said, and no one cooperates on a Friday), he was transferred on Saturday, and back I came to my home. He died happy 9 days later. It isn't easy no matter how close or far you are, and I'm sorry for you, but take comfort in the fact that others of us have been there. We sympathise.

I love your wedding dress. To thine own self be true. Great picture with your dad.

Snooty Primadona said...

I do have to say that I love your mini wedding dress!

Love it that your aunt is so active and saddened to hear about your Dad. We were right here with them when my in-laws became ill, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Clippy Mat said...

suz: you crack me up. your comment was as long as my post, and funny. thanks for the laugh, and the kind words, you are sweet. sorry you got stuck with the super bowl party. next year be ready!

marjie: well done. i'm glad that you were able to do that for your dad. sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns and refuse to take no for an answer.
when my sister and i go to the nursing home where my dad is, we like to whip the staff into shape, just to let them know that they have to remember that the elderly are people first, and patients second.
thanks for your sympathy and support. :-)

Clippy Mat said...

s. Primadonna:
thanks. i kinda like my mini wedding dress too now that i look back. oh so young. :-)

Crazy Mo said...

Holy hotness, Clippy! You were a yummy bride!!

I am saddened by your news, though. Watching your parents get old is not easy. Even harder when you're worlds away! The child inside us wants to have our parents with us always. It's like a security blanket. You know that you can always turn to your parents and be soothed. Even though we are adults, our aging parents is a reminder that we have to grow up.

Expat mum said...

Hey Clippy. Sorry to hear about your dad. We have just been through that exact thing with my uncle.
Also sorry I'll miss you on Tyneside. I'm not over there till August.

Pam said...

"the ramifications of the decision i made so easily all those years ago now makes me accountable". I feel every word of it as I miss my aging family too. My thoughts are with you and your dad. XXX

Clippy Mat said...

Mo you're right we want to stay children and not have our parents grow old. thanks for the compliment. that wedding dress today would need an extra coupla yards o' material and a reinforced zipper ala. :-)

Toni: i usually go in the summer too but this year i'm thinking march break becaue of my dad.

Pam: oh you're probably just hormonal girl. i remember that well. you are missing your mum i'm sure. i hope she gets to visit you soon. thanks for the support
hugs :-)

Jan said...

so so sorry to learn of your Dad's health problems, i do hope he makes a comfortable recovery soon.
Love your wedding day piccie on the steps of good old St Aidan's - beautiful.
love Jan x

Clippy Mat said...

Jan: yes, good old St. Aidan's. It's gone now. they pulled it down and built houses there.
thanks for coming by.