Tuesday, November 30, 2010

30 days hath November - except when there's 29!

here's me thinking i'm all done and then Cheech made me doubt it.
(we were in this nablowotsit thing together.)
so i added up my posts and found out that she was right.
and i was wrong.
so that's me.
i'm not the full shilling.
i'm a brick short of a full load.
i miscalculated somehow.
the thing is that on one day i posted twice (technically) and that sort of threw off my mental scheduling.

so i counted them all up and i had in fact only posted 29.
and the task was 30 posts in 30 days.
if i get THIS post in today then,
i made it.

i will tell you a little tale.
seeing as i dragged you all the way back here
and i'd previously had you here under false pretences.
as it were.

at work we got two new office chairs.
one for me and one for 'er.
that's my coworker who shall remain nameless.
they rotate and go up and down.
roll back and forwards.
the usual.
comfy, smart, black leather.
they're pretty fancy.
mine has a life of its own.
when i sit down it takes me flying across the tiled floor, which has no traction to stop the chair's momentum.
so i have learned to sit down carefully, bracing both feet on the floor and holding the arm rests before i sit back.
this works so much better than just plonking myself down willy nilly.
when we first got the chairs i sat down and then leaned forward to take off my shoes.
(cos i always change into my flat shoes at work if you want to know)
so when i leaned forward, the chair sort of tipped up catapulting me onto my bum and then shot out from underneath me.
i landed in a very ungainly and unladylike heap on the floor.
the chair continued to fly backwards across the room at high speed and then landed upside down.
as we had a visitor in the office that morning i was somewhat embarrassed.
i had to be helped up.
because i was in a state of disbelief and bloody irate at the same time.
and tried to laugh it off.
as you do.
ha ha ha look at me.
what a silly bugger.

but my role in our workplace seems to be that i am the klutz.
i'm the one who spills, drops, bumps into or knocks up against anything that isn't nailed down.
so i made as light of the situation as possible under the circumstances.
pretended to laugh it off.
because i knew it wasn't actually my fault.
that chair is possessed by an evil spirit.
but i suspected that someone who shall remain nameless (i.e. my coworker) thought that it WAS my fault.
and that it was just ME being ME.
well imagine my delight surprise today when she told me that on my day off, when she was in the middle of a skype conference, she had leaned forward to adjust the camera and her chair had tipped her on her arse and then propelled itself to the other side of the room.
much to the great amusement of the other party on the skype line.

of course i commiserated and said 'how awful'.
how these chairs are absolutely dangerous.
but inside i was smirking.
and felt really smug.
and vindicated.
so i walked away so she wouldn't see me trying to disguise my smirk.
thinking, so now you know it's not just ME!
then i walked into the filing cabinet drawer which i'd previously left open.
which resulted in me spilling my coffee all down the front of me and onto several important files.

it was well worth it tho'.



Expat mum said...

I think you need one of them grippy rugs underneath the chair, for 'elf and safety reasons.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my gosh...you need to wear a helmet and knee pads to work Clippy!!!
I would have loved being on the other end of that skype call....funny.

Clippy Mat said...

EPMum: Hmm, I asked the boss but she got us those clear plastic slippy jobs, made it 10X worse...

Suz: It's padding for the old Queen Mum (bum) that I need. ;-)

ChiTown Girl said...

First, congrats on REALLY finishing today! You silly goose! :)

Second, I didn't even giggle at your story, because I've been there, done that! We got some new chairs this year for the conference table in our reading coach's room. Every single, God-blessed time I try to sit in one, it shoots across the room. Luckily, it doesn't dump me on the floor, but I still sail across the room with the chair. It happens to all of us, so now we've started holding each other's chairs as we sit. It's ridiculous! Please be careful!

Pam said...

Thanks for clearing that up. While I was cheering along with you last night I did think you had one more to go :-)
The cure for klutziness is to get younger and have no kids. Looks like we're buggered.

Mark said...

A good giggle and three years to bring a claim too!

Wel done on NABLO wotzit

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

We have some old office chairs in our shed (it's a big shed, concrete floor thing). My son and his mates have great fun playing "wheelchair basketball" - whizzing around on them and shooting hoops. I keep saying it will end in tears but secretly think it looks brilliant fun.

Congrats on the 30 days - that's obviously why I didn't comment yesterday, I instinctively knew you hadn't finished! *coughs*

Steve said...

I'd be suing the chair manufacturer. They're plainly ergonomically unsound!

Clippy Mat said...

Cheech: Thanks! Now I really mean it.
and those chairs, see they're trying to kill us all with them and it seems like this crazy batch has gone national. You be careful too. ;-)

Pam: ha ha but thanks for NOT saying so. you knew I'd figure it out didn't you?

Mark: 3 years? oh now I'm feeling some twinges in my nether regions come to mention it.

Trish: I think I will try the wheelchair basketball thing, I could be quite talented at that, I've got me some moves.

Steve: They are the opposite of ergonomically sound ineed! Or is it the tild floor which is like an ice rink....?

Clippy Mat said...

*tiled* floor

ModernMom said...

I gave you a shout out in my post today:) Thanks!

the fly in the web said...

I'm just thinking about ChiTown girl's comment...all holding hands while sitting down...like a cross between oriental exercises and a seance...You could start proceedings bu asking
'Is anyone there?'

Irritatingly Optimistic said...

hahaha, sorry Clippy but that could so easily be me too!

My new chair has one of those lever things underneath and sometimes when I'm sitting with my leg under the seat I catch the lever and end up three inches off the floor with my nose on the edge of my desk. I sit opposite a girl who almost choked herself on herbal tea the first time it happened.

I have a long list of similar incidents one of which is repeatedly repeated by my Dad at any opportunity despite the fact that it happened about 35 years ago. Maybe we should do something with them?

Clippy Mat said...

Modern MOm: thank you for the shout out.

Fly: I think our chairs are already possessed. do you really think we should be trying to contact more evil spirits? ;-)

Gale: I LOL'd at the picture of you sitting 3 inches off the floor infront of your desk. Yep, we have a lot in common.

C said...

well. heres the thing... if one of you gets injured on the f.... chairs, your company will have its hands on lawsuits for sure... so if i was your boss, i'd be lookin to get an unslippable thingie for the floor, or something to decrease the rollability of those chairs...

i worry about stuff like that since i have had a few falls meself... oh, also, i so enjoy your lil english words for stuff, like 'er... diane talks like that tooo and it just endears me more to her... her fave saying is "'er indoors" while taking to someone about me, and bollucks, and summit, and plunker and git, oh so many... we laugh... oh and in reference to sex.. "me nuptials" lmao is that cute or what!!!

it would be a blast to get together someday..

Anonymous said...

I Definitely inherited this from you! What about when you try to swim underwater and your bum just bobs on the top of the water ? LOL LOL X DAUGHTER

French Fancy... said...

Hello fellow klutz (only you probably are not one really - just as I'm not one really, although I do drop a lot of food down me, bump into things and trip over.

I've also got a swivel chair here that sometimes decided to drop me down to floor level.

We are accident prone twins I reckon

Wor Vron said...

well done sis have enjoyed your November posts -keep going cos we all love to read them.
lots of love
little sista

Grumpy Old Ken said...

You make my five or six posts a month look a bit sad!

karen gerstenberger said...

You make me smile. I like that in a person. =)