Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind

i have a new student.
he's a big guy and he looks and sounds like a huge teddy bear and he acts somewhat like one too.
he does have special needs, that's why he comes to our program.
he's in his late 20's and when i interviewed him and asked what his goals were and what he wanted to learn he wiggled his fingers rapidly like a demented pianist and told me he wanted to learn to type,'very fast.'
i was curious.
well, he said, i want to write books and you have to be able to type very fast.
well, you have to be able to 'write' i said, it doesn't matter how fast you can type.
he considered this for a moment.
then he changed his mind.

well, he said, i want to learn to speak latin and also how to go on the internet.
yes, i want to go on the internet and meet a girl from south america.
i will ask her to marry me and she will become my wife.

i knew i would have my work cut out for me.

he talks a mile a minute and does algebra on scraps of paper in his spare time.
go figure.

however his other skills are sadly lacking.
he barely writes and when he reads he eliminates meaning by never pausing.
everything sounds monotonous and defies comprehension.
his social skills are atrocious.

the other day he was sitting at the table with several other students.
i was sitting opposite.
we were mid discussion in our life skills class.
without so much as a by your leave he raised himself onto one cheek of his rather immense backside and let one rip.
very loudly.
he didn't stop talking or miss a beat.
i was outraged!
i told him in no uncertain terms that he should leave the room to do that.

yesterday morning in the middle of a really busy activity i looked up to see him outside the classroom on the mezzanine.
he seemed to be standing on one leg.
it's a public right of way which we share with several other businesses.
the noise in the class prevented me from hearing him.

why are you in and out, i asked after he sat back down the second time.

well i had to fart,  he said nonchalantly, if not a little surprised at my asking.
and you said i had to leave the room.

i guess i did.

and it's my own fault for not being more explicit i suppose.


C said...

bwahahahahaha how funny, sad, cute, all in one. god bless you for having the patience to work with special needs kids/people cuz maybe in my youth but today there is no way. my dear, your new guy may be spending alot of time on the mezzanine!

well you made it to day 3.

but i'm not counting.

Clippy Mat said...

C: patience? who said I had patience? that went out the window many moons ago.... but I struggle on regardless....
Hey day 3, you're right. It's a record.

Gill - That British Woman said...

I agree funny and sad at the same time.

Is he autistic as well?


P.S. Looking forward to tomorrow's post.....

Clippy Mat said...

Gill: let's just say he's an adult with disabilities. (I worry about identifying those who I work with.)
thanks for reading. :-)

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I have many friends in the social service professions and they tell similar stories. And, they are funny and sad at once, but if someone could reach a socially awkward person and change their lives, it's all worth it. (the work, not the inappropriate behaviours).

Lakeland Jo said...

patience and explicitness on order from santa clippy.....

Steve said...

One thing the guy has in spades is honesty. And that's a rare quality these days.

ChiTown Girl said...

God Bless you, Clippy, for the work you do every day. Most people are not cut out for what you do.

I feel a little sad for this young man, because my first thought was, "What the hell have his parents been doing for the past 20+ years? Why haven't they ever told him what you did?" I'm trying not to judge, as I, obviously, have NO idea what their situation is, but sheesh!

Clippy Mat said...

ETW: I gave up on changing people's lives many moons ago, cynic that I have become. Now I accept that I can only do so much and hope that a small percent of that will be received. It's less painful that way.

Thanks Jo. Tell him I've been good will you? :-)

Steve: Alas it's true. honesty is rare these days. He has no barriers to honesty that's for sure.

Many of the people I know are handicapped not by their abilities but by their upbringing. You must find that the same in your line of work... sad but true eh?.

karen gerstenberger said...

What a dear guy - and quick in the desire to please. This could help him in his quest to find that young lady in S. America. I love his honesty and imagination.

Mark said...

An edgy sort of story that - kind of funny and sad at the same time. Mind you, I have some sympathy with him on the farting front - what if it's cold outside!

Clippy Mat said...

Karen:Helping him in his online quest to find a lady in S.America will be the fact that she can't 'hear' him playing his wind instruments. ;-)

Mark:It WILL be cold outside soon enough, but we have a lovely bathroom down the hall. I just want him to use it! Your sympathies should lie with me! LOL

Busy Bee Suz said...

That is hilarious.
If nothing else, he will never pass gas in front of YOU. Innocent by- passers and strangers? Yes. But in front of you.

Clippy Mat said...

I'm not that confident unfortunately. In fact, come to think of it there's a funny stink around here right now....

Pam said...

ha ha ha ha ha. I am seriously laughing my arse off at work. Nice one Clippy. X

Clippy Mat said...

Pam: laughing your arse off is preferable to er blowing it off in some other way... say no more.

the fly in the web said...

Do you think warnings should go up in all of Latin America?

Why isn't he into Russian brides like everyone else, or is this another manifestation of his problems?

Clippy Mat said...

I'm not sure why he prefers Latin American women but I think if he could get a Russian woman he'd be equally as thrilled. He's definitely on the hunt for a woman to marry, as long as she doesn't speak English it seems....