Blackberry pie

mobile phones are bad for your health.
i gave mine up because i worried about electro-magnetic fields and the link to brain cancer...
is there one?
is the jury still out on that?
what does Dr. Oz say?

i never quite figured that out but i know since i read a newspaper article on the subject i now stand at the opposite end of the room from the microwave in my kitchen and the photocopier at work.
with the photocopier i feed the paper in, press START and then do a sort of sidestep-run to the doorway.
i get funny looks from people but hey, what can you do?
it's my ovaries that i'm protecting and even tho' i'm not actually using them anymore for their intended purpose, i have become fond of them and don't want them to shrivel up and die.
not until i've shrivelled up and died first anyway.

can't quite remember all of the details of that newspaper article now but i remember getting a fright and wondering to myself whether i could buy one of  those aprons that radiographers wear when they x-ray you.
do they sell to the public?

apparently there's a risk with wireless internet too but i haven't completed my research on that subject as yet either.
as soon as Dr. Oz does a segment on it, i'll be good to go.
i shall report back to you.

so not long after i'd come to that decision about not having a phone anymore my other half talked me into getting a blackberry.
he told me that i could BBM with my daughter for free as she has a blackberry too.
she's in england and we email every day anyway but i forgot about that when he said 'blackberry' and 'free' in the same sentence.
i forgot about electro magnetic wotsits and all that stuff.

he did the research first, pre-shopped on our behalf, cos he was getting a new phone too.
then when he'd decided which plans and which servers were better i went with him to the store and picked one up.
the store was in the mall.
so after we'd got our new phones we sat down in the mall in the food court and proceeded to phone each other from our respective devices, across the table.
as you do.
then we practiced texting.
i sent him a voice message and then he texted me a very rude suggestion.
i took a picture of the shocked expression on my face and sent it to him.
he took a picture of his middle finger and sent it back.
i think the people around us thought we were crazy so we eventually got up and left.

as we walked away i was still fiddling with my phone.
which resulted in me not seeing that i was at the top of the steps in the UPPER level of the food court.
must have forgotten that.
i proceeded to walk off the end of the steps and midflight as i realized that i was no longer walking on solid ground, i somehow managed to take all four steps in one massively, deep stride;
a la John Cleese and his "Ministry of Silly Walks",  walk.
(you must check that link out to fully understand)
as it dawned on me that i was about to go arse over teakettle i grabbed onto m.o.h. with all of my strength and stepping off the steps brought him along for the ride.
i sort of jump-stepped-flew and miraculously (?) managed to remain upright.
i think i may have dislocated m.o.h's shoulder, but no worry, it could've been worse if i'd fallen cos he'd have hit the deck before me and i'd have landed on top of him.

i knew then without a doubt that i'd made a very big mistake in getting another phone.

technology, as in hand held devices and moi, do not mix.
i have enough problems walking and chewing gum.

i don't think i have long to live.

i should probably stick to this kind of blackberry device in future.
completely safe to use.
not very good at communication however.