Monday, September 5, 2011

Sail on....

life has been so exciting and hectic here for the last 5 or 6 well OK, nearly 9 months, that i haven't had a minute to post anything.
i will pause, giving you time to digest that information.

OK i just needed an opener.
i've had a very busy summer (by way of changing topics).
but tomorrow i shall go back to work.
because i must.
well all good things etc etc.

moving right along -
yesterday i went on a nice day out with a bunch of old friends.
one of  these friends arranged tickets to go on a boat cruise around Toronto.
a tall ship in fact.
what fun!
then we found out that a local club was organzing a bus trip up there for the same cruise so we said we'd go on that and we wouldn't need to worry about driving, parking and not being able to drink!!
so we go to meet the bus at the appointed hour and my other half and i are the last two to arrive.
keep 'em waiting, i say.
there's only one seat left!
(bad planning on someone's part but we won't go there.)
the bus was full, and i mean FULL, of senior citizens.
and i do mean senior.
i know i'm no spring chicken meself but still.
they didn't look overjoyed at our arrival being as it would seem we'd made them wait a nano second after the appointed time of departure.
god forbid!
what is it about seniors and the sands of time?
oh they're running out?
well that would explain it because they're bloody fiends i'm telling you when they want to go somewhere.
and don't get in their way when it's time to get off the bus either.
ye'll get an elbow right where ye don't expect it from some owld biddy with a sweet smile should you attempt to get into the aisle as she's 'coming thru, coming thru.'

anyway, my other half and i were fitted in, but not in seats together, and a fella from the back volunteered to sit on an upturned garbage bin at the front next to the driver.
(no, i'm not lying.)
if the driver had once applied the brakes he'd have gone hurtling into, and probably through the windshield, but hey, i think somebody told him he'd get a refund on his seat if he gave it up.
so did i mention it was a trip of SCOTTISH seniors?
och don't get yer kilt in an uproar ah ken that not all scots are canny! but i'm just illustrating ma point.

all the way up there the lovely little lady i got sat next to told me, after the very briefest of introductions, about her colon surgery, the events which had necessitated it (!) and its outcome, her issues with food and what she can and can't eat and what can happen if she should eat something that she shouldn't!
and i don't mean haggis.
and all about how since she'd had accidents in public when she wasn't prepared (!) she'd quickly learned the benefits of always keeping spare drawers in her bag.
och it was riveting.
i managed to sleep all the way back.

the boat cruise was fun.
because the 8 in our group fell about laughing at each other.
because we are really funny and because O.A.P.'s in kilts and tam o' shanters (really) are not too difficult to take the piss out of.
och we are so smug.
and just slightly afraid that we're all going to be 'just like that' one of these days.
old that is.
not wearing kilts and tams.

the highlight of the boat trip, apart from a completely coincidental air show over Lake Ontario, most exciting, was when a gay cruise ship sailed alongside and then gleefully passed us by.
they (all the men on board that is) were bare chested.
i'm not sure i get that.
but not to worry.
some of them were wearing little white sailor hats.
as you do.
their captain blew the horn as they came into view and our crew reciprocated with a friendly blast back.
and all the passengers were hooting and hollering and blowing kisses to us whilst they danced to very loud music.
so we were thrilled.
and hooted and hollered and blew kisses right back at them.

and we kept on waving as they sailed gaily by.
bye, bye.

then we turned around to see the shocked and scandalized faces of our fellow passengers.
some very dour scots people.

if only, i'd had me camera!

ach well.

aw goan yasell missus, gie's peace.

did you miss me?


Pam said...

I missed you as I love your stories! The boat trip sounded really funny but I'm amazed so many Scottish people were on the bus. You should have started a rendition of God save the queen! I bet that would have done down well. ;-)

the fly in the web said...

Damn right I missed it was as well you had a gem to recount....

I take it no one sang 'Flower of Scotland, then...

karen gerstenberger said...

Of COURSE we missed you! Welcome back! Looking forward to any and all of your tales of work to come. Blessings to you!

Steve said...

Yes missed you. And I can't believe those other people were Scottish. If they were true Scottish they would have made someone pay for the upturned garbage bin.

Trish @ Mum's Gone To ... said...

You're like buses - we had you constantly for a month and then nothing!
A great tale to start my day laughing - a bus full of Scottish wrinklies, gays cruising (!) and the wisdom of always keeping a spare pair of drawers.

Clippy Mat said...

Looking for the "like" button on all of your comments as I check in before heading to work for my first day back!
Thanks for coming back.

TechnoBabe said...

Glad to know you are okay and still in possession of your rare kind of humor. I have missed reading your posts and enjoyed reading about your Scottish senior moments.

Expat mum said...

Yay - she's back. (Doing a happy dance!)

Lily said...

I almost said where's the photos but my imagination has probably painted better pictures!

Gill - That British Woman said...

good to see you back. Funny story, we're heading downtown next week hopefully,


C said...

oh my lil clippy!!!!! of course i've missed you! it hasnt been the same without ya. i am so glad you are back. your trip sounds like such fun... i LERVE gay cruisers!! lmao..

i am also glad you have taken time to really enjoy your family!

i'm afraid had i been there whitchew, i would have had to peek under da kilts as i have always wanted to know if they go nekked under them...

hope you are having some great weather up there.

welcome back, friend. have a great return to work.. treat yoself with some sweets or hagus or kidney pie or summit... ;)

Jake said...

This was an hilarious post!! Dropped by by way of That British Woman's blog. Now I'm following you!!

Anonymous said...

LOL! you're too funny! I love it. Glad your trip out was something to talk about. miss u. glad to see you blogging again.
xxx daughter

Jake said...

Hi, thanks for dropping by and following me. I found this article on that big rat outside the Park Central Hotel

Mark said...

Hello again - welcome back.

Made me laugh

wor vron said...

glad you're writing again -sounds like a fun day oot with the pensioners! looking forward to hearing stories of your recent visit home xx

ModernMom said...

That soounds like a sailing trip ye will never ferget! :)