Tuesday, March 11, 2008

clippy mat was awol

it's been a while.
i realize to be a 'blogger' means you have to blog a minimum of at least a few times a week.
i meant to do that but have kept putting it off for some reason.
however, many people (well, one) have noticed my absence and suggested that i get back to business.
not sure what's been keeping me so busy really.
i'm off work for a week because it's march break so i should have lots of spare time but it's already slipping away so quickly and the week is half done.

the other night i had to go to the store and decided to pay a visit to the "evil empire".
(someone else on another blog gave the big american conglomerate that name. or at least that's where i read it, so i can't say that i made it up but i do admit to pinching it.)
anyway, i've been looking for a particular item for a few weeks now, to no avail, so i thought i'd give the E.E. a shot which caused me to feel guilty because i have managed nicely to avoid the place for quite a while.
i tried to get in and out quickly so i could pretend i was never there (!), but halfway round the store i overheard a 'conversation' from one aisle over.
as so often happens there a mother was berating her child for not sitting in the cart or something equally heinous.
'SIT!' she snarled very loudly.
'no' the child whined in response.
'do you want to take a nap?' she threatened in a menacing voice.
'NO!' the child fearfully replied.
i looked at my watch. it was 6.45!
a nap? at 6.45 p.m.? what time is bedtime for goodness sake?
and if a nap is such a feared punishment what can bedtime be?
sheer torture by the sounds of it.

another thing. the other day i was driving one of my grandchildren home from daycare.
we stopped at the mall to have a walkabout and something to eat. (there's nothing finer than a child who eats a grilled cheese sandwich like it's manna from heaven and nods his head and says 'good' when you ask if he likes it.)
anyhoo, we left the mall and as i approached my vehicle, which is a big truck with four doors, i could see that there's a little white car parked very close to me and its wing mirror is sitting right underneath my wing mirror.
which means i cannot open my driver's side door.
i'm holding my grandson, he's 28lbs, it's freezing cold, it's getting dark and it's starting to snow.
we go around to the other side of the truck and i open the front and back doors and struggle to get him in his car seat which is on the opposite side of the vehicle, behind the driver's seat.
i climb in and i cannot describe the degree of difficulty involved in this.
hold a 28 pound child and try to climb up into a truck without benefit of running boards for leverage.
the normal procedure would be for me to open both doors and put him in his seat in the back while i stand outside. very easy.
i have to strap him in and because i'm in beside him and there's no room to move and he's struggling and getting fed up it's an exercise in patience and fortitude; his and mine.
i climb down. unable to turn around i have to back out slowly and do a dismount landing on two feet,(please god no-one was watching) then i have to climb back up to get into the passenger side first in order to climb over into the driver's seat.
there's a centre console with gear stick to maneuver over and the whole thing required so much dexterity on my part, of which, for the record, i possess none, that i think it should become an event at the next olympics.
i finally get into the driver's seat where i sit heaving and gasping while trying to unfurl my limbs and catch my breath.
i look down with sheer hatred and venom at the little white car parked beneath me.

i picture the owner of the little white car walking around the mall blissfully unaware of the carnage she has caused.
i've already decided she is a little old lady.
she's the one that walks up and down the aisles of the grocery store leaving her cart in the middle for you to sidestep.
the one that walks very slowly, moving from side to side as you try to overtake her, first on the left, and then on the right.
okay, i know, it's me in a few more years.

allow me time to adjust!


Emma-Kate Castricum said...

I too have a big 4x4 and have had the little cars parked by a shitty driver so close when I've been trying to load kids in it that we've had to enter from the other side etc etc. Just for once I wish I drove a bashed up old bomb so I could just swing my door open and not give a damn about the damage I might cause!! Nasty I know but it would be nice.

Clippy Mat said...

i know what you're saying. that would feel so good, and that's how i felt that day. :-)