frank's theory of time, energy, inertia and velocity.

Hey, clocks went back last night Frank.

yeah? in my timeless existence clocks are meaningless. it's just tardis man.

tardis frank?

Time and Relative Dimensions in Space man.

spaceman? oh right. tho' you do have a natural rhythmn to your existence frank.

i do?

yes, well when i leave the room at the end of the day i turn the light out and...

leave me in the dark?

yes. well that means it's night time and it's time to..

sleep?

well, rest. yes.

rest? man you aint very observant, you know what i'm sayin'?  when have you ever seen me do the opposite of rest?

well you do lead a pretty static sort of life frank, now that you mention it. i haven't observed you moving much since i've been sat here.,

dude, i..

DUDE? really frank. do i look like a dude to you?

it's a term of endearment man.

well for that matter im not a man either frank. but point taken. if it's used in that frame of reference then i can't object.

as i was sayin'...

go on frank. i'm all ears.  which you're not are you frank?

i'm not what?

all ears frank. ha ha ha. i'm just making a joke there.

yeah? you think so? pardon me for not doubling up there dude. i never had no need for no ears iffen you must know. already told you i'm an intuitive thinker and communicate telepathically. ears'd be redundant man. you should know that.

i suppose so. well anyway we were talking about your static existence frank.  it's what you're doing now. just 'hanging' there and looking at me. you know you spend a lot of time just hanging, suspended in space as it were.

as it were? that's exactly what it IS man. it's a higher level of functioning if you must know. all movement ceases and i just AM. i've made the need for movement redundant. i think therefore i am dude. so i can just BE you know?  no need for frantically darting around all over the bowl man. it's like unnecessary.

oh i see. like when i meditate.

no, not like when YOU meditate. because when you 'meditate' you're watching TV and that's just not how it's done man.
WHOAH! Holy Mothers Salacia and Anphratite!

who frank?

Goddesses of the sea man. WHAT WAS THAT? an earthquake?

oh sorry frank, i was just adjusting your bamboo shoot, it had sort of come unlodged from the stones at the bottom. they hold it up.

Dude! let me know when you're going to do that next time, it freaked me out. i felt the earth move man.

did you frank? you know, you looked quite spetacular when you did that loop de loop so suddenly, and you got round that bowl 3 times in as many seconds. very impressive.

d'you do that on purpose?

on  "porpoise" frank?

you're doing "air quotes" now?
Holy Neptune, that extra hour of sleep didn't do nuthin' for your comedic talents there dude.