Monday, January 23, 2012

QUICK! tidy up

company's coming over.
would you believe it?

my nephew's wife in the uk, a lovely lass called Nikki, was recently told on Facebook about my blog by an unsuspecting relative.
unsuspecting in that he doesn't know that i don't tell ANYONE about my blog.
especially NOT people on FB.
otherwise my work colleagues would know and it wouldn't be too hard for them to troll thru older posts and find less than flattering anecdotes about themselves and their colleagues would it?
that would NOT do.
then what would i do as an outlet?
one has got to have one's secrets hasn't one?

my unsuspecting releative, aka husband's cousin's daughter's husband, made a passing remark to Nikki about MY blog, after MY comment today that HER updates on FB are so funny that SHE should blog about her life and times.
(it would be immensely readable.)

he mentioned that "pat", aka yours truly, "knew about blogging because she has a blog which is easy to find if you google 'clippy mat'".


was her response.

so i've had to come clean.
and now guess what?
she's only going to come and visit tomorrow isn't she?
so let's see, let's do a bit of damage control before she gets here.
right now she'll be in bed as it's almost 1.30 in the UK.
that's in the a.m.
time is of the essence.
make haste to make a good impression and hope that she won't see thru the facade.

let's pretend that the last posts i posted, ALL the way back in november, when i was seriously full of good intentions about nablowhatsit and blogging every day for that month, and which turned out to be co-authored by my pet fish (!) were a lot funnier than they were.
not sure how to give that impression, and i've even thought of deleting them but what the hell.
i liked them at the time.

hopefully she won't notice that there's been nothing written since then.
perhaps she'll go back thru some old posts and find the odd one to raise a smile.
'tis my only hope.

wouldn't want her to pop in and find us all neglected and abandoned would we?
"call THIS a blog?" she might well be inclined to say when she gets here.

can't have that.

SO  shift yourself off that chair there and plump those cushions.
take those dirty dishes off the table and put them in the dishwasher and get those plants watered and don't forget to gather up the newspapers and magazines from every surface and recycle them for gawd's sake.
Jeebus! are they CUP RING STAINS on that table?
what the hell?
get a damp cloth at once!

and OPEN the blinds would you and let a bit light in.
what will she think if she comes here and sees that DUST!!?
DO NOT write your name in it.

right, we've got a few hours till she gets here as she's in england as i say and fast asleep as we speak.
but i happen to know she's a very early riser.
so look sharp.

light a few scented candles and plug in one of them airfreshner thingies.
sit up straight.
and just smile and nod when she comes by.

hopefully she won't stay too long.


ChiTown Girl said...

I HATE unexpected company!

Welcome back, by the way. I've missed you!!!

Clippy Mat said...

Cheech: are you saying, I can't drop in on you in Chi-town unexpectedly? dammit.

karen gerstenberger said...

Everyone would love your blog - how could they not?

Clippy Mat said...

Karen, thanks. Can you hang out and some class to the joint?

Nikki said...

When I was 25, a palm reader in Bangkok told me, amongst other things, that Id be famous before I turned 40 and LOOK!! Its true! I got a mention in a real life online blog!

Brilliant read! Hope you dont mind if I drop by more often?
Really no need for the special treatment next time tho, Ill keep it on the low, youll never know I was here ;)

Clippy Mat said...

Thanks for coming!! So glad you made it. Come by whenever you like. Imagine that palm reader predicting THIS!? Fame comes in many guises. LOL

the fly in the web said...

So that's what it takes to get you back to blogging!
I liked the fish..

Gill - That British Woman said...

oh the joys of having company over, you're always knackerd by the time they arrive to enjoy their visit!!


Expat mum said...

Your family sounds like mine. Whenever someone visits, the Ball & Chain will say "Now who is she to you?" and the answer is usually, "Oh my second cousins' daughter's friend" etc. We're a very sharing family!

Nikki said...

...that palm reader also told me Id be fat. Im hoping he meant in the style of Buddha (rich in happiness and healthiness) rather than the style of 'who ate all the pies'!

Clippy Mat said...

that's all it takes. i'm easy. frank says 'thanks'.

it's so true. i feel i'm well qualified to run a b and b with all the practice i've had over the years.

EPMum: yeah, sometimes it's hard to figure out the connection yourself, never mind explain it to someone else. btw, it's all 6degrees of kevin bacon anyway isn't it?

nikki: no way. you will never be fat. that palm reader's daft. (but if it applies to you coming into money, don't forget your favourite relative!)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I'm just a little peeved that you drop out like you do.
The older I get, the less I can forgive.
Tidy up? You'd better start getting more regular for me clippy. I miss you dang it!

Clippy Mat said...

suz: i would never wish to peeve you.
i will pull my socks up and get my act together, promise.

ChiTown Girl said...

Clippy, you are welcome ANYTIME!!! As long as the clutter and general messiness doesn't make you run away screaming. ;-)

Truth be told, I LOVE having people over, but I usually prefer to have some notice so I can tidy up. Although, the older I get, the less I'm really that worried about it. I've finally come to realize that my friends drop by to see ME, not my house.

Clippy Mat said...

Cheech: one of these days I'm defninitely coming to see YOU! :-)

Pam said...

She's coming all the way from the UK to talk about blogging? Is she a bazzillionaire?
I love your blog and sure she will too.